Tic Toc

Six

Remington
Pennsylvania
Hershey

We popped out of the revolving door like a cork out of a bottle.

"What do you wanna do next, girly?" I asked as I carefully placed her new snow globe in my backpack; I learned a long time ago to always carry one when wandering around with Alex.

"I don't know." She looked around at the various shops we were surrounded by. "How about there?"
She pointed.
I looked. At first it looked like just another trinket shop. Upon further inspection, I smiled. I couldn't pronounce the name of the store, but there were tarot cards in the window.

"Of course you would." I laughed to myself.

I pulled her along, weaving through people.
We both gasped when we entered the shop. It was hard to know where to look. Glass shelves littered the place. They showed off all kinds of things: devil statues, dragons, skulls, upside down crosses, jewelry... There was so much. Gothic bibles took up a whole wall. Every band poster you could imagine were on display behind the counter. Hanging about were all kinds of dream catchers, most of them black. If felt almost like every culture you could imagine was turned black and stuffed into this shop.

"Oh my goodness!" Alex squealed as she ran over to a Baphomet statue.

"Get whatever you want, Moonchild." I told her.

Mom had saved money to buy us all Ticking Expemptions. At first, she was gonna give me the basics, like Sebastian and Emerson had. But then when Alex was... When Alex happened she changed her mind; she just had to spoil the little girl. There was something called a Plus One Expemption. It was different than a standard Expemption, which generally includes things like travel, lodging, and food. In short, it gave you a budget to on whatever you can think of for someone else. And as stubborn as my mother is, the budget was very large.

"Ooo! Remington!" Over the music I heard Alex squeak from the other side of the room.
Smiling, I walked past the beaded curtains and to where she stood. She was looking up at an Indian statue. High on top of it's head was a long, red and black feathered headdress.
"Pleeeeeease?" She batted her eyes at me.
"Of course." I replied. It was way too pretty to pass up.
After grabbing a couple trinkets for myself, we went to the register and asked the lady to box up the headdress. I could help but check her watch as she walked by. Unfortunately, hers was merely silver.
I sighed and looked out the window. For a moment, I watched the people walk by. I was surprised that Alex had been so willing to go where the crowds were. Usually, she would do anything to stay away from them. Then I realized, we were still searching.
She knows we can't do that without people.
She must be so uncomfortable. I thought to myself.

"Hey Alex." I turned to her. "Why don't we go check out a– Alex?"

She wasn't by my side. For a moment I started to panic. How could I lose her? Just as quickly as the panic came, it left. What was I thinking? She was way too scared to wander away from me.
I turn a little farther and there she was looking at yet another trinket.

"See somethin' else, pumpkin?" I asked.

She seemed not to hear me. The cashier came back with the box and handed me the receipt. I tucked the stuff in my bag before walking over to my little girl. At first I thought she wanted something else, then I seen the look on her face. My heart plummetted.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.

She looked like she lost her last friend in the whole world. Her eyes were so dead, her face so blank. She didn't answer me.
"Alex." I tugged on her wrist.
I followed her gaze. She was looking at what seemed to be a baby mobile; something you hang over a crib. The base was a solid red. Feathers and little hearts were suspended by black and silver chains.
At first I didn't realize. Other than the fact that no normal parent would hang that in their child's room, I didn't see what the problem was. But something nagged at me. My throat tightened and it was hard to breathe.
But why?
It was just a stupid tot. Not a very good toy for a baby but—
No normal parent would... And I'm not a normal parent.
I felt sick.
"Come on." I said softly. "Time to go."
Gently, I pulled her out of the shop. Finally she tore her eyes from the wretched thing.
She was quiet as we walked along. I grinded my teeth, fighting back the memories that threatened to surface. I wanted so hard to forget, I couldn't remember my baby's first toy. I hoped she was young enough. I prayed with every ounce of my being that she wouldn't remember a thing. I realized now my efforts were in vain.
How could I not see it?
After awhile, we wandered into a graveyard totally void if people. The living ones anyway. Popping over a hill, we found a view of the city. For a few minutes we sat on a headstone in silence. Alex leaned against me, a far away look in her eyes.
Then suddenly, "Do you ever think about mom?"
Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. It looked as though she we're afraid to say it. For once I thought before I spoke.
I thought about the times I watched Alex sleep. Late at night when the nightmares wouldn't go away. When the demons wouldn't leave when I closed my eyes. When the voices refused to quiet. I thought of the places I couldn't go anymore, couldn't even look at when I drove by in fear of remembering.
The reasons why I looked at men like I should look at women.
The woman who destroyed my life, but somehow gave me the best thing that ever happened to me.
Did I think of her?

"Yeah," I said softly. "I do."

Emerson
Nevada
Sebastian's House

I sat on my brother's couch and popped my fingers. The four of us, Sebastian, Larissa, Shai, and I, were hanging out. We did it every weekend. Today we settled for staying in and watching a movie. It was something about a bank heist. Or maybe it was cars.
I don't know.
I was having a hard time focusing on anything. My mind kept drifting back to my big brother. Not the one sitting across from me, the one hundreds of miles away.
As far as I could remember, he was always the one I went to if I needed somebody. Even if I just wanted to chill, he was there. Then he came out and everything changed.
My watch started ticking not two days later, so mom had to cart me all over the country. We didn't come back until eight months later when we found Shai. The whole atmosphere of the house was different.
Dad was so hard on Remington. Sebastian kept bullying him. Not long after Shai moved in with us, he left to go live with our aunt. Really it was the only place he could go; he was sixteen and no one was going to sell him a house. Sebastian's watch started ticking, and then all our time was taken up with helping him.
Now Remington— my favorite brother— his watch was ticking. I couldn't be more worried. We found our matches with time to spare. But now he's only got a month. It seems like alot of time. But if you have a ticking watch, your as good as dead.
With each passing day, I register the time he's lost. I realize there are more days behind him than ahead.

"What's wrong with you?" Sebastian asked.

I glanced at him and shook my head.

"Nothing. Just thinking." I replied.

Everyone groaned, including Shai. I furrowed my brow, wondering how I could be paired with someone so shallow. Was I that bad? Did I just not see it?

"What is it now?" My brother grumbled as the girls got up and went to the kitchen.

We had this conversation every so often. More often now that time was dwindling.

"You're not worried at all?" I asked.

"No Emerson!" He snapped.

"He's our brother!"

"I don't give a shit. He's a whore and a fag and I'm done with this."

He got up and walked out, making this the shortest argument we've ever had.

He was a fag.
Okay fine.
He was a whore.
Maybe so.

But he was still our brother.