Tic Toc

Four

Twelve days later.

Remington
Nevada
Home

"So, you see, baby? It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. I love you so much. And your match is gonna love you too. More than the world. So you don't need to worry. You're so loved."

That's what I told her. I told her while she cried herself to sleep; god that killed me. I told her while she was sleeping. I told her at the crack of dawn when her eyes fluttered open, surprised to find that I was still on the floor with her. I would keep telling her until she believed it.
She was so very loved. It didn't matter that her match wasn't here yet to show her.
Alex confessed to me all the stupid shit she's done while I was gone: sleeping around with Dakota and his friend, walking through the city at night by herself, cheating in school and when that didn't work she stopped showing up, sleeping in the graveyard. When asked why she was so reckless, all she could do was shrug.

"I don't know," she said later. "Nothing better to do, I guess."

Nothing better to do. How many times did I use that excuse? How many times did I blame my crazy antics on boredom, when really I felt so isolated I couldn't stand myself? But worse, why did she have to be so much like me?
There were other people she could take after. Better people. Like mom. Mom was great. She nicknamed me the hellion child, but not once did she yell at me. And she certainly never hit me.
She was a much better role model for Alex than I was.
In the early morning we laid in my bed— where she had been sleeping since I got home— and I was watching her sleep. I realized it's been almost two weeks we've stayed in the house.
My heart started to pound against my ribcage as I registered all the time wasted. I hadn't really intended to throw away the three weeks until Alex's birthday. I was going to look around; my lover might very well be under my nose.

Almost in a panic, I got out of bed as quietly as I could. For a few minutes all I could do was pace around the house and tidy things up, my mind racing on what to do.
There were several watch matching programs and events I could go to. But with how different my watch was, it would be useless.

"Rem?" A very sleepy Alex wandered into the kitchen.

"Hey, Pumpkin." I said softly; she didn't like loud things in the morning.

She walked over and wrapped her arms around my stomach, just barely tall enough to lean her head on my shoulder. I kissed her hair and held her tight. It was almost our morning routine to have a nice long hug before we tried to do anything else. Lord knows it makes for alot better day than if we didn't. My mind drifted back to my dilemma, the anxiety making my chest ache. As if she were reading my mind, Alex looked up at me.

"When are you going on another trip?" She asked.
There was sadness in her brown eyes that matched mine. On a whim, I made a decision.

"Come over here." I took her hand and led her over to the wall map I hung in the living room a couple days ago.
Never quite having grown up, of course we had various Nerf guns, water guns, paintball guns, etc., laying around the house for those arguments that can't quite be settled... Except by battle. I picked up a Nerf gun with the bullets that stick and handed it to her.

"Okay, Alex, I want you to come back here." We walked to the other side of the room. "Close your eyes and shoot. Wherever it lands is where we'll go for your birthday."

She closed her eyes. I closed mine, cringing. Why was I putting my fate in the hands of a 15 year old girl? I heard the pop of the gun, the dart immediately hitting the wall. Alex pulled me by the arm to see our destination. I assumed Illinois, or somewhere in the center, but I was wrong.