song - six feet under: billie eilish
TW: threats of sexual assault, homophobic slurs.
Cady stares at herself in the mirror, her new reflection staring back her. It's her first day back to school after Winter Break. And Damian has to go in late, meaning that Cady has to face this all alone. Her hands shake as she grabs her bag and plugs her headphones in. The Heathers soundtrack fills her ears. She keeps her head down, trying not to overwhelm herself.
The second she approaches the school, the whispers start. Cady can't even bare to look up, even though she can feel the eyes of those around her digging into her. She tries to blink back her tears but they slowly fall down her face. But she doesn't even have the courage to try and wipe them away.
Without Damian, she's completely alone. She sits in Ms. Norbury's class, counting down the minutes until third period. So that she can see her best friend. She keeps her face in her phone, making sure not to look at anyone else.
Before Cady even looks up at her, Regina is ripping off her headphones. "Aw, the little lesbo freak finally decided to resurface. How was the psych ward?" Regina smirks.
Cady rolls her eyes. "Can you please leave me alone, Regina?"
"And lose my entertainment for the day? Fuck no," Regina cackles, pushing Cady to the floor. "You should've stayed there. Slit your wrists some more so you didn't have to come back. Because you're going to regret it."
Regina walks off with Gretchen and Karen as Cady pulls herself up off the floor. She lets out a shaky sigh, letting a stray tear roll down her cheek. How is she going to survive her morning without Damian?
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Damian walks into third period and is immediately tackled by Cady. And she refuses to let go of him.
"Woah, Caddie, I wasn't gone that long," he laughs.
Cady lets out a shaky breath.
"What happened?" he asks, concern growing in his voice.
"Regina fucking George happened," Cady mumbles.
Damian pulls her closer, walking them both back to their seats. They make small about Heathers and weird stuff they found on Instagram to pass the time. Cady lets out a small sigh of relief, happy that her best friend is with her.
"Alright, I'm going to the bathroom," Cady says, leaving the classroom. She starts to feel dizzy, making her stop in the middle of the hallway. And then she is getting picked up and slammed into a locker. She lets out a yelp, staring into the face of her attacker.
Shane Omen.
"Aw, you know you love it, jungle freak. You loved it when I took you by surprise in the bathroom. How about we do that again? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he teases.
Cady whimpers, trying to wriggle free from his grip.
"Oh come on, jungle girl. Let's have some fun," he growls.
Before Cady can even try to scream, Shane is pushed off of her. She lifts her head, seeing Janis beating the shit out of Shane. She kicks and punches until he's practically unconscious.
Janis rushes to Cady, pulling her in her arms. Cady sobs and hyperventilates, allowing Janis to hold her.
"J-Janis...h-he..." Cady tries, and failing to speak.
"Shhh...Caddie it's okay," Janis whispers, holding her close.
"H-he f-forced me t-to...b-blow h-h-him..." Cady stutters, breaking down even more.
Janis's eyes grow wide. "Oh my God, Caddie. Why didn't you tell anyone?" she says, holding her closer.
Cady doesn't know what to say.
Janis pulls out her phone, texting Damian over and over until he finally meets them in the hallway. Janis explains what happened, leaving Cady with Damian while she goes to tell Ms. Norbury what happened.
Damian takes Cady to the library, pulling her towards their spot. Cady curls into Damian, letting small sobs escape her lips. Damian holds her close, wondering what else Cady has kept secret. If she can keep something that traumatic a secret, what horrors are still waiting to be unleashed?
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Cady texts Janis, asking her to come to the library during lunch so that they can talk. Cady watches Janis walk in, looking around for her.
"Over here," Cady mumbles.
"Hey, Caddie. How are you feeling?" Janis asks, sitting down next to Cady.
"I...I don't really know, if I'm being honest," Cady admits, looking down at her hands.
Janis takes Cady's hands into hers. "Caddie, listen to me, you really should have told someone about this. This is something that you should not have to go through alone. I know we're not on the best of terms but I really do care about you."
Cady nods, looking up at Janis. She missed those brown eyes. Without a second thought, she wraps her arms around Janis, nuzzling her head into her neck.
Janis holds Cady close, missing the feeling of her in her arms. They stay like that for a while. Just allowing the moment to happen. Breathing each other in.
Until Damian comes back from the office.
"Did I miss something?"
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After school, Damian is instructed to take Cady to the police station to give her account on what happened with Shane. Damian can see the nerves building inside of Cady and he immediately pulls her into a hug.
"Caddie, I know it hurts. And I know it's hard. But you have to do this. He needs to pay for what he's done," Damian says, holding Cady close.
Cady doesn't say anything, only nods against Damian. She takes a deep breath, walking into the building, hand in hand with Damian.
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After the interview at the station, Damian takes Cady home, only to find Janis waiting for them. Damian tenses slightly, looking over at Cady.
Cady doesn't know what to think. She can only stare at Janis.
"Alright, I know you guys probably don't want to see me. But I need to get this off my chest. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I should have talked to you guys. I shouldn't have just shut you both out. This has been eating me alive. I am so fucking sorry. I'm a horrible person and a horrible friend," Janis sobs, breaking down in front Damian and Cady.
Cady and Damian look at each other, kind of reading the other's mind. They both pull Janis in for a hug, allowing them all to cry it out.
Cady cries for herself.
Damian cries for his two best friends.
And Janis cries over what she's done to the girl she loves.
Some time after the emotional reunion, Damian has to leave for a babysitting job, leaving Janis in charge of Cady.
"Caddie, we should talk," Janis says as they both sit on the couch.
"I know," Cady mumbles.
But she knows what will happen. And she already knows that she doesn't know how to handle these emotions. She's already fallen once, but falling a second time is ten times faster and can hit the ground harder. And Cady is like a rain drop falling from the sky, ready to hit the ground.
YOU ARE READING
beautiful
Fiksi PenggemarCady Heron is new to Northshore, a mystery following her presence. She has just moved to the States from Kenya. She gets swooped up by Janis and Damian, the outcasts that are too gay to function. As her feelings start to explore, she begins to fall...
