Pinterest // Hyungwonho ✓

Thirty-ninth Pin

I closed my eyes as I breathed in the cold air, resting my head on my arms which layed on the windowsill, covered in my beloved red oversized sweater. I did that from time to time, when I had to get my head free. It felt like my heartbeat relaxed everytime I looked out of the big window - a breathtaking view of Seoul right in front of me.

The buildings were all so big, but seemed so small from over here even though my apartement wasn't even on the highest floor.
The dark night sky arounded them so all I could see were a thousand lights in different colours.

"So that's jealousy?"

"Yes honey. And love."

I still struggeld to believe that the words Changkyun told me were true. I'm in love? How could I fall in love with someone I barely know when I wasn't able to fall in love for 22 years? What made him so special, that my heart skipped a beat everytime I saw him, everytime his name appeared on my screen?

I sighed. It was totally irrelevant, I already knew I had grown affection towards him. Friendship? Yeah, haha. If it were only friendship, I would feel the same with Kihyun. But I didn't. Not at all.

"So that's what love feels like, huh?", I whispered to myself, clenching my fists. Love should make me happy, love should feel like a firework - at least that's what the movies and books told you. But it didn't. Kind the opposite, it was sad. I fell in love for the first time in my life - with someone I couldn't have. With someone who already gave his heart to another guy.

But it wouldn't be me, if I gave up this easily, right?

I sighed again, stood up from my barstool I moved to the glass front earlier, closed the window and moved said barstool back to where it belonged.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, so I took it out (was going way more easier this time 'cause I wore sweatpants instead of tight jeans) and took a look who wrote me at this time.
Well it was 9:30 pm but still.

WuhuWuhoe
Haven't talked to you for a while
How are you?

I couldn't help but smile as soon as I saw who disturbed my deep thoughts.

TakeThatFckingName
It's been two days... 😂
Sorry I had a lot uni stuff to do.
I'm pretty fine, thanks, how 'bout you?

I lied. I wasn't fine at all. I wanted him to appear through the phone so we could talk all night while cuddling in my bed, covering ourself into warm blankets, drinking a cup of tea. I wanted to touch those pretty muscles and look into his eyes for longer than a few seconds - I wanted him by my side. Urgh, I'm screwed.

WuhuWuhoe
I would be finer if you came along to the party tonight 😎

Oh my gosh. Did he know what that sounded like?! I tried to control my heartbeat, breathing out and breathing in...

TakeThatFckingName
The party Kihyun told me about?

WuhuWuhoe
... I don't know? Am I Kihyun?
But he comes too, so probably yeah

TakeThatFckingName
I would love to
But I have uni tomorrow

WuhuWuhoe
So do I
But I'm only young once

TakeThatFckingName
So fuck responsibilities and go?

WuhuWuhoe
You're so smart 😉

TakeThatFckingName
Urgh go away
I don't like that emoji at all

WuhuWuhoe
Why not?
😉 

TakeThatFckingName
Because it looks so arrogant

WuhuWuhoe
Wut

TakeThatFckingName
Yeah
For example
Is that so 😉
Are you sure about that 😉
You're free to do whatever you want to 😉
It's your decision 😉

WuhuWuhoe
Okay stop 😂
I got it
I'm sorry I won't use it again
IF
You're coming tonight 😊

TakeThatFckingName
That's unfair!

WuhuWuhoe
Idc 🤷🏻‍♂️
I want you to come
Please?

I knew it wasn't wise at all. My first seminar would begin at 8:30 am, I would never make it if I would go to the club tonight. But... I'd love to see him. And I needed to see him. So I don't had to think twice.

TakeThatFckingName
Okay, I'm in.

WuhuWuhoe
🎉🕺🏻

TakeThatFckingName
I hate you

WuhuWuhoe
No you don't 😊

TakeThatFckingName
You're right.
I don't.