Pinterest // Hyungwonho ✓

Fifty-seventh Pin

My vision went blurry as I walked the stairs back up. At least I tried to walk, it wasn't that easy because I rarely managed to hold myself on the banisters. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I began to climb the last stairs to my apartement door, shoving it open. 

Loud music sounded from the living room, mixed up with my spinning head and the strong scent of alcohol and sweat in the air, caused my stomache to twist. Somehow I made my way through the dancing people to my bathroom, stepping inside just to be welcomed by a boy and a girl making out. But I couldn't care less right now, so I leaned over the sink, washing my face and staring into the mirror. Cold brown eyes met mine, causing me to shiver as I realized they belonged to me. Tears fell down, but nobody would recognize right now, because my face still dripped from the water I splashed in a moment ago. 

Why did I even tell him all that? It wasn't the right moment, I was just so so angry because of his words. They hurted like knives - probably worse. My hand wandered to my chest, clenching into my shirt. 

"Hyungwon?", a familiar low voice appeared. I turned my head and saw Changkyun standing in the door frame with a worried expression on his face "Are you alright?", he asked while he walked up to me, resting a hand carefully on my back. I shaked my head. Nothing was alright, fucking nothing. I just confessed my feelings and accidentally revealed Hoseoks true feelings for my best friend right in front of his fucking face. 

I heared Changkyun saying something to the other two inside, before they grumbled something back and left. But I hadn't had a clue what it was, because just at that moment my stomache went wild, causing me to jump to the toilet so I could throw up. 

I felt warm hands on my back and in my hair, prevent them to fall into my face. I wasn't a girl with long hair, he hadn't had to do this, but he did and it kinda felt good. It calmed me a little bit, even if my aching heart still hurted way more than my stomache. 

After I calmed myself down, I let my upper body fall against the wall, heavily breathing, looking at Changkyun with half open eyes. 

I hurted his boyfriend. 

"I'm sorry.", I whispered, eyes filling up with tears again. 

"What happened?", he asked, hands searching for mine, carefully stroking over them. 

"I- I told him..." 

"You told who what?" 

"I told - I told Hoseok.", my voice cracked, I felt so weak right now. I wanted to cuddle up in my bed, hiding under the sheets and cry till no tear was left. But I needed to talk to Changkyun, I needed to tell him that he should go look after his lover. 

He didn't say anything, just hestitated before he nodded a little, hands squeezing mine. 

"Ki- he heard everything..." 

He stopped. 

"What?" 

"I- I'm sorry, I just - I was so angry and yelled at Hoseok that he should already forget his feeling for Ki and - he heard... He stood right behind me. I'm sorry, Changkyun, I really am!" 

Another tear fell down and slowly I began to wonder if those were all the tears I didn't cry the past few years. Like all of my emotions came out at once. 

Changkyun freezed for a minute, staring at me with widden eyes, before he closed them and took in a deep breath. 

"Don't you dare blame yourself for that." 

"But-" 

"No. Hyungwon, listen! This is not your fault. Neither that Hoseok fell for him and burdened you with keeping it as a secret, nor that Kihyun just overheard your conversation. I'm sure they both need some time to talk, that's why I'll stay here with you. But promise me to not blame yourself, Hyungwon, please." 

My lips parted a little, but I didn't know what to say, so I closed them again, biting on my lower lip instead and nodded once. 

"Okay. Let me help you get up to brush your teeth, so you won't feel that dirty when you wake up tomorrow." 

"Let me shower please.", I said as I lifted myself from the ground. 

"You sure you can do that right now?" 

"Yeah. I need to, please." 

"Okay... it's already 3 am, so the people can leave now. I'll take care of it.", he said and gave me a light smile. 

"If somethings up, scream for me." 

"I will, thank you.", I replied and waited for him to leave the room, so I could lock the door. 
As soon as I was alone I let out a deep sigh, running my hands through my hair. My life was so easy before he entered it, why the fuck did he had to make everything so complicated?! 

Hyungwon, stop it already. You can't blame him for not liking you back. It's not his fault. He didn't hurt you on purpose, you can't hate him. 

I sighed again before I quickly took off my clothes. 

*

I crawled onto my bed, covering my almost naked body with the big blanket. It was cold at first, but after a few minutes pleasant warmth surrounded me. 

Changkyun sent everybody home, most of them complained at first, but left anways. I heard his low voice growl something from under the shower, so it had to be very loud outside. I was sure I never wanted to hear that again. 

I already was half asleep as I felt the mattress sink under a different weight. I opened my eyes and turned around a little, just to see my best friend right next to me, eyes red and swollen. He sniffeled as he lifted the blanket and slipped inside, immediately wrapping his cold arms around my waist. His cheeks pressed against my shoulder, burning in heat. 

"Kihyun, I-", I began but he shook his head. 

"Don't. I'm sorry. I am so freaking sorry Hyungwon. You surely had to go through so much pain, just the same way as Hoseok did and I am so fucking sorry for being the reason why.", he whispered, voice shaking. His words broke my heart, so I turned around in his arms, wrapping mine around his trembling body, slightly stroking over it. 

"I'm sorry I never told you. I was feeling bad about it for so long, because I hate lying to my best friend... I just - I couldn't tell you..." 

"I know.", he answered and pressed his face against my chest. I felt his body go up and down as he took in a deep breath. 

"How are you?", he asked quietly. 

"I'm fine."

"I though you hate lying to your best friend.", he chuckled which made me smile a little. 

"I'm just glad I was finally able to let everything out." 

He nodded and pressed himself a little closer. His body calmed down a little, but I still felt how his tears wet my shirt. 

"He left.", Kihyun mumbled. I didn't answer, because I already knew he would. Even if he still had a few things inside my room, why would he come back after what I said earlier? A sudden pain flushed through my body, causing me to catch my breath. Fuck, it hurted more than before, my chest burned like fire as I felt tears filling up my eyes again. 

"But I'm still here. And I always will be, believe me.", I heard my best friend whisper, as he lifted his head, staring with glittering eyes into mine before he leaned in and carefully pressed a light kiss on my cheek. 

"I'll never leave your side. That's what best friends do, right? I'm here for you." 

Omg I love the emotional Kihyun. :') 

Hello, I'm an Alli-alligator 😎 SHIT this comeback killed me at least a hundred of times! I MEAN WONHO can't you at least try to be less hot?! And Jooheon with black hair, and KIHYUN and HYUNGWON and- okay. Sorry for ruining the emotional mood 😂😂 
What's your killing part in the MV till now??? Mines Jooheons 'Hello', that little fucker... 💞💞 That smile...!!