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Forty-first Pin

Hoseok POV

"Fucking shit, what the fuck is this, shut the fuck up!", I cursed at the annoying sound of the alarm clock, throwing my blanket and a few pillows over the edge of my bed while searching hysterically for my phone.

Frustrated 'cause I clearly heard it but couldn't find it and angry at myself for setting FT Islands Pray as my alarm I stood up, grabbed my blanket and shaked it until my phone hit the floor. I didn't waste a second to reach for it and stoped the way too loud music.

Totally done with the world I layed back onto my matress, closed my eyes and fell asleep almost immediatly again.

The second time I woke up, my head didn't turn anymore, instead it just ached as fuck. The alcohol was gone and the hangover came. I groaned as I sat up a little, hands on my temples.

My legs shaked from the cold breeze that blew through the open window in front of me, since I forgot to cover myself with the blanket again. Carefully, so I wouldn't trip anywhere over my clothes or the pillows I stood up and walked to the window, closing it as quietly as I could.

"Fuck.", I whispered to myself. Maybe it wasn't my best idea to drink as much as I did yesterday.

I took a look around - the writing desk with an super expensive computer on it (it took me ages till I got all the money together), the small bed and the dark blue carpet on the floor - it was my room. I was glad I was at home and not at some strangers, but also curious how I made my way here. I was rarely drunk since I didn't want to do something stupid. Especially not when Kihyun was around. So why did I drink so much?

My headache got even worse so I decided to take a pain killer and shower before anything else. Uni was not on my plan anymore - I would just skip that today. No way I could dance like this.

After I drank a whole liter water and took my pill I searched for a cozy hoodie and a new pair of sweatpants, took my beloved red boxers and made my way to the bathroom. Loud laughers came out of the kitchen which caused me to roll my eyes and hurry up. The last thing I wanted right now, was my annoying roommate to annoy me with something really annoying I didn't even care about.

The water turned out to be the best decision I made so far. It felt like I could feel all the smoke and sweat wash away from my body, floating into the drain, far far away from me. But I still couldn't remember much from yesterdays party.

I remembered drinking a lot of cocktails after Hyungwon arived, I didn't even knew why. I remembered that Kihyun and him went dancing and I drunk even more while watching them, couldn't help myself but be jealous of the close friendship they had. If only I was so close to Kihyun...

But after that I could barely rem - shit. It hit me like... I don't know - a wrecking ball or something.

I danced with Hyungwon. Well, it wasn't that strange after all, because we're friends and stuff, but... we danced way closer than he did with Kihyun. I could still feel his eyes on me, discovering every corner of my face. I could still feel his big hands on my back, curling up on my shoulders and I still had the feeling of the soft material of his shirt on my fingertips.

It felt so sureal. I never danced with a boy like this before - not in a club, not with people around, not with Kihyun forcing me to do so.

But I couldn't deny, it felt awesome.

Hyungwon made my views turn. He was the first guy in my life, who told me that it was okay for me to be gay. That it was okay, if people thought it was wrong, as long as I had someone standing behind me, helping me to become strong. Others did that on their own, but not me. I was way more weaker than I seemed to be and that was okay as well.

I had my mum, who would be proud of me no matter what gender I liked and I had Hyungwon, who would definitly fight everybody who hurt one of his friends. And I am his friend. He told me several times, so I believed.

I turned the water off as I finished my shower session and stepped out of the cabine, grabbing my towel and starting to carefully dry myself.

The rest of the night flickered in front of my inner eye. After a few songs Kihyun came to us as well and we started to dance all together. We had so much fun, I could clearly hear their laughs in my ears. It felt great to be so carefree around them.

Hyungwon touched me a lot this night, sometimes on purpose and othertimes probably by mistake. If he heard something funny, he slapped his hand slightly agains my shoulders or my legs, depends on if we stood or sat. Most of the time he had one of his arms curled around Kihyuns or mine neck, which was pretty awkward for me at first, but as I realized it was just some kind of a habit, it was more than okay for me. Later he told me we both had the perfect height for him to lean on. 

My lips turned into a slim smile at the thought of him. It was enough to make me happy, he was enough to do so. At least for the moment.

When I looked at him, it felt like I could see them pretty wings on his back, free to fly wherever he wanted to, free to be and do what his heart told him. He kind of took my worries away, making my problems seem so small through his eyes, like it didn't matter who I loved or what I liked to wear - if I'll be just myself.

Alone how he acted when I joked about making him gay if we slept in the same bed "It's not like it's a sickness. If I would turn gay tonight, it would probably be 'cause I've never realized it before." I still had these words stuck inside my head. He didn't know how much they meant to me.

"It's not a sickness."

If only everyone would think so.

"Are you done, Hoseok?! 'cause I reeeaaaally need to pee right now!" I sighed as I heard my roommate knocking on the bathroom door. Goodbye beautiful silence.

"Give me a second!", I answered before I pulled my red boxer up, carelessly letting my towel slip to the ground. After that I just picked up my other clothes, deciding it would be best if I just changed inside my room and opened the door so he could enter the room to release himself.

"Sexy!", he chuckeled and pointed at my body, then rushed to the toilet, giving a damn about me still standing there.

"Oh my gosh Minhyuk! Can't you just wait until I left?!" This guy is really testing my patience... thanks god I didn't find him attractive or else I would have a big problem living with him.

"Oh come on, it's not like you've never seen dick.", he said while wiggle his eyebrows, causing me to groan again. I turned around and left the bathroom, already annoyed enough for the rest of the day.

Somehow Hyungwons POV is so much easier to write for me... Maybe 'cause he isn't struggling with so much, since he's more the type of guy who just accept things, not making a big deal out of it?
I still hope I manage to write Wonhos POV "as good" as Hyungwons - if not - I'm sorry! :3

A N D G U Y S thanks you so much for all the support!!!! I get so motivated because of you it's indescribably!!! ♡♡♡ Unbelievable that this trash already got 2,5k reads :c

I love you all ♡♡♡