Pinterest // Hyungwonho ✓

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My lungs burned as I finally reached my destination. Beside that my hands were cold as fuck, the rest of my body felt like someone set in on fire. It took me about 30 minutes, even though the route was normally about 50 minutes. Thank you fitness studio.

I jumped from the bicycle, throwing it into the front yard, running up to the door and - hesitated. What am I even doing here? I hurted him so much, he surely didn't want to see me anymore. I probably was just a pain in the ass for him, looking like a little desperate freak, who just accepted his feelings, because he couldn't have the other one. But it wasn't like this - because Hyungwon was in my mind 24/7 and not Kihyun. I can't even remember feeling the same way towards Ki as I did right now.

Kihyun... looked beautiful. And he was funny, he made me laugh so often. He was the cute little one, who could also fire back if you say something he doesn't like at all. But when I thought about him, all I ever felt was pity for myself. Sure, I was curious what it felt like to kiss him, to hold his hand, but - it was different with Hyungwon. With him it wasn't just curiousity - everytime I think about him, my heart speed up, I get exited and I can't resist the urgent wish to kiss him, to feel his skin against mine, it was like I was addicted to it. Like I could barely control myself and I want to have all of him - just for me. I don't want to share him, and I would definitly fight everyone who grew feelings for him.

"I love him.", I heared myself whisper as I pressed the door bell.

It took a few minutes, till I heared a rustle and a scratchy voice at the end of the intercom. "Yeah?"

"Hyungwon let me in."

"..."

"Hyungwon! Please..."

Another rustle sounded and I thought that he would let me in, but nothing happened. I stood there like an idiot staring at the door. After a few minutes I pressed the door bell again.

"What do you want?", his husky voice appeared again.

"I want to apologize and- please just let me in!"

"No."

"Fine, than I stay out here waiting. You have to leave sooner or later."

"... are you nuts?"

"Yes, Hyungwon! Yes, I am."

"Okay. Have fun."

Was he freaking serious right now?! Would he really just let me sit here, waiting?

"Tsk.", I clicked my tounge, turning around and let myself fall onto the cold stone stairs. I would wait for hours, if that's what he wanted.

*

The cold wind hit my arms for the 1000 time already, causing my body only to shiver even more. I forgot my phone, so I didn't know how long I was already staying out here, it felt like an eternity. I also forgot his keys I had borrowed for the days I was supposed to stay at his. It layed at Jooheons, inside the pocket of my jacket. I really wished I had taken it with me, because I was freezing right now. But I wouldn't complain.

Suddelny I heared a loud click and a vibrating sound. The door! I jumped up and  pushed the front door open, not wasting a single second and jumping up the stairs to the 6th floor. Hyungwons appartement door stood open, his big eyes staring out of it, confused and somehow shocked.

I catched my breath, slowly walking up to him, not leaving his eyes. His lips parted, but he didn't say anything. I stopped right in front of him, my chest going up and down fast while loud breathing sounds came out of my mouth.

I reached for his door, lightly leaning against it, so it opened a little more for me, Hyungwon didn't do anything about it.

"Hyungwon... I-"