TO BE LOVED / poetry

V

(LONGING FOR//something i can't grasp//01.02.2019)

• • •

once we had been grand.

once we were love stories made for movies,
kisses of starburst sweet,
lazy touches in the dying hour.

once we were love itself,
and Eros named us the lucky ones.

but when i took courage to leave,
i saw what we really were;
i saw scars beneath our smile
i saw bruises blooming under your teeth
i saw papercuts and quiet cries and
expectations we force the other to fit into like gloves.

and when,
after it is all over,
you tell me you miss me -

i am carnage,
and i am innocence lost.
and i will not lie; that

to be missed by you would be an honor,
a gold-plated medal
that i will pin to my heart;
to remind myself why i left
for nights when i long for you too much,
once again.

because you can beg and plead and pray
all you want,
and i can toss and turn in thought of you
all i want.

but it will never change the truth:
i do not miss you
the way that you miss me
i only miss what we had been,
what we were being,
and what we could've been -

i only miss
the idea of us,
the idea of love.

• • •
a/n: this one is a bit metaphorical, just cause it's half past two and i'm feeling extra. :') this is for those who had expectations for love, who were so blinded by it that they did not see the flaws in their relationship until it was too late. and this is for them, because they still miss the idea of love, they still long for it, regardless.
sometimes you can love the shadow of something, but please remember of your own light.

and this is dedicated to someone who had just sent me one of the best sentences i've read in a while. i was texting you when inspiration hit, so thank you :") i don't just love the idea of you, vee, i love YOU. you mean the world to me, and then some more bluebutterflies007 ❤️