[ON HOLD] Post-Its •yoonmin•

8

  Jimin thought that falling asleep wrapped around Yoongi meant that he'd get the rest he needed. He felt so safe with Yoongi's voice rumbling against his chest, thought for sure that he would sleep through the night.

  He was wrong.

  Jimin tended to have nightmares that were a flashback of feelings, not images. He didn't see his ex-boyfriend's face or relive the abuse by seeing it happen again. Instead, all the feelings that he kept away while he was awake flooded in when his mind was at rest. He felt guilty, ashamed, terrified, helpless, worthless, and every other negative emotion he had ever felt as a result of the abuse all at once. No one will love you. Who else would put up with you? You're disgusting and disobedient. Not to mention ungrateful. You deserve to be hit. You deserve to be yelled at. You deserve to be forced into things you don't want to do. Why else would I keep hurting you, if you didn't deserve it? It became a whirlwind of the feelings, thoughts, and horrifying memories that he choked down during his waking hours.

  Breathing hard and crying harder, Jimin snuggles himself even tighter against Yoongi's body. The movement of his shoulders as he sobbed quietly woke the older man up, which Jimin only knew because he started running a hand up and down his back.

  Once the tears stopped and Jimin's heart returned to its normal rhythm, he explains what happened in a whisper. He suspects that Yoongi already knew, but since he was still new at the whole "being open and asking for help" thing, it felt like a good idea to tell him anyway.

  "I'm sorry, Jiminie. Are you going to be able to fall back asleep?"

  "Probably not for a few hours, at least. I usually need time to cool down. You can sleep though, as long as I can stay wrapped around you."

  "I know a diner pretty close by that stays open all night, are you up for that?" Yoongi offers. "I want to keep you company, plus their milkshakes will mend your soul."

  Jimin agrees, despite the voice screaming that he's being selfish and should have refused so his boyfriend could sleep. He tries to counter those accusations with the fact that Yoongi offered to go. It does nothing to quiet his mind, but his therapist says he should do it anyway. Once they're both ready to go, Jimin leaves a note for Taehyung and Jungkook in case one of them wakes up (went to a cafe because I had a nightmare - be back soon! ❤️ Jimin & Yoongs) while Yoongi quietly sneaks his car keys from his own apartment without disturbing Hobi.

  In the car, Yoongi lets the radio play softly. It's just music, no DJ making commentary in between. Jimin doesn't know any of the songs, but they're soft. He thinks maybe they're old songs. With his head leaned against the cool window, he can feel every bump the car hits vibrate his skull. He can see Yoongi mouthing the lyrics or drumming the beat against the steering wheel with his fingers sometimes, which makes him smile. Jimin is beyond grateful that Yoongi is doing this, even though he must be tired.

  "What are you smiling about over there, Park Jimin?" Yoongi asks teasingly.

  "You. Duh." This answer throws the older man off, causing him to blush so deeply that Jimin can see it even in the dim glow of the dashboard lights.

  After about fifteen minutes of driving, Yoongi pulls in to a small building with a neon sign boasting their twenty-four hour service. Surprisingly, there are a few other cars in the lot. The theme inside the diner was retro, as expected. They choose a booth with red vinyl seats in the back, near the jukebox. A man who seemed suspiciously cheerful for three in the morning took their orders and served them within ten minutes, leaving them to talk.

  "How'd you know about this place?" Jimin asks around a mouthful of burger.

  "I used to come here all the time when I was stuck on a song. I'd get so frustrated, I couldn't stay in one place, so I used to just drive around. Eventually I found this place."

  "It's neat. Thanks for sharing it with me."

  "Maybe next time we can come under lighter circumstances." Yoongi pauses, obviously wondering whether or not he should broach the subject. He ultimately decided not to. "Pick a song from the jukebox when you're done eating, okay?"

  "I don't know any oldies, though, especially not American ones! You should choose one you think I'll like," Jimin counters, slurping the last of his milkshake.

  Yoongi agrees to these terms, sliding out of the booth to flip through the song selection before narrowing it down to a couple he recognizes. One is a more fun song, and the other is a slower love song. Even though Jimin won't understand the lyrics of the love song, Yoongi does - he had to do a project over it a couple years back - so he understands the implications.

  "Okay, I've got it, but there's a catch," Yoongi says, turning back to his boyfriend, who narrows his eyes and raises his brows in question. "You have to dance to it with me."

  "Here?!" Jimin whisper shouts.

  "Yes, here. C'mon, you're the dancer. It's a pretty song."

  Yoongi inserts the quarters and presses the appropriate buttons to play Baby I'ma Want You by Bread, pulling Jimin to his feet when the beginning notes start. He has no idea how to properly slow dance, so they're really just rocking back and forth in a slow circle. Jimin's face is in Yoongi's neck, letting out slow breaths against his skin. The older man hums softly, actually singing certain parts.

  "Didn't know you could sing," Jimin comments softly.

  "I don't usually. You should feel special."

  Jimin hums, reluctantly lifting his head after the song ends. "I do." He doesn't need to elaborate for Yoongi to know that he means it beyond this moment. "It'd be gross for me to kiss you right now, wouldn't it?"

  Their faces are still close, arms still wrapped around each other, and they haven't sat back down. "Probably. The waiter could be watching," Yoongi jokes, not actually caring who was around.

  "That's too bad. I really wanted to kiss you."

  "You're in a real predicament. What are you going to do about it?" Yoongi smiles lazily. The exhaustion is catching up with him, but he doesn't let on.

  Jimin pretends to think about it for long enough that Yoongi thinks he might really be weighing his options. He almost speaks up, reminding him that they can just kiss in the car or back at the apartment, but Jimin presses a gentle kiss to his lips before he can. The younger man erupts into a fit of giggles afterward, and combined with the kiss, Yoongi feels so warm with affection.

  "You literally seduced me into car sex like twelve hours ago, and now you're giggling over a kiss," Yoongi chides, fondness clear in his voice.

  "I'm a complex man!"

  Yoongi pays for their meals and they ride home in the same way they rode to the diner, except this time, the radio and the rumble of the car is too relaxing and Jimin falls asleep. Yoongi manages to get him up to the apartment and in bed again with the younger man still mostly asleep. He is awoken the next morning by soft, lazy neck kisses, and the nightmare is over for now.