The Great YouTuber Slash Fiction

Chapter 4: SepticButter - 413 Chapter

Originally posted April 17, 2017 to AO3

>YouTubers: Play harmless game that will certainly not end in armageddon.

SBURB was the new game; everybody was talking about it. It wouldn't be out for another MONTH, but the game devs had picked a few YouTubers to give out EARLY COPIES to. You were one of the LUCKY FEW who be recieving one today.

Everyone thought the choices were strange. Sure, it'd make sense to give copies to people like PEWDIEPIE, MARKIPLIER, and JACKSEPTICEYE. But it didn't seem to be a POPULARITY CONTEST, as a couple of SMALLER YOUTUBERS like ROBERTIDK and ECHO GILLETTE would be receiving them.

But what the WEIRDEST PART was is that NON-GAMING YOUTUBERS like ROSANNA PANSINO and SUPERWOMAN were getting the game, whether THEY WANTED IT OR NOT. There was no choice in the matter.

Today is THE DAY you will get the game via MAIL. You are VERY EXCITED, to say the least. Very little is known about SBURB, but soon, all would be REVEALED.

>Austin: Wait patiently for your new game to arrive in the mail.

You don't want to wait patiently, DANG IT. It's a new video game, and video games are kinda YOUR LIFE.

>Fine. Wait IMPATIENTLY for the game.

Nope. It's not coming any faster.

This may have to do with the fact that your MAIL doesn't arrive for another FIVE HOURS, GENIUS.

Five long hours.

>Waste these next five hours doing something.

You've decided to derp around on the WORLDWIDE WEB. It's a great place to throw away several hours of your life.

Heading to Twitter, most of what you find is hype for SBURB. Apparently, Mark and MatPat have already recieved their respective copies. They haven't updated since, though, so you have no idea what how Sburb is.

The most recent post is from JACK, who says he is just about to INSERT THE GAME DISK.

You hear something. It's coming from outside. It's the MAIL TRUCK. With your copy of the game?

>Look outside window.

The RED MAIL FLAPPY-SWINGY-DEALY FLIPPY-LEVER or whatever is up!

Which, actually, is quite odd, considering that its purpose is to notify the MAILPERSON that they're supposed to PICK UP mail, not that you have RECEIVED it. Your mailperson is a DUMBASS.

>Disregard postal stupidity and get your dang game!

Alright, Alright! You're going, you're going!

Um...

There's a fucking BATHTUB IN YOUR HALLWAY!

>Reader: be done with exposition and setup and skip ahead to the goddamned plot!

You are now AUSTIN, hours in the future, BUT NOT THAT MANY.

You are in the land of TOOTHPASTE AND DILDOS, and are currently in the midst of an INTENSE BATTLE. You are surrounded by LARGE IMPS, who are, due to you and your coplayers prototypings, a combination of: a banana, Peepachu, an Arstotzkan hat and Pixel.

Personally, you'd rather not fight something with your ferret's face, but you'll do what IT TAKES TO SURVIVE.

Currently, you're attempting to fight them off with your WEAPON: a GIANT FLOATING SLEDGEHAMMER which you have fashioned to be controlled by a NINTENDO SWITCH REMOTE.