An Idol for the Omega

Chapter 37: The Airport, Take Three

Braden

The heat of the August day lingers as I send the pack pups home with their parents. The pups have grown a lot of the last year and soon they will be off to school next month. Of course, I'll probably see them there since I'll be substituting again this year. Using my degree at the public schools in town, as well as with the pack, keeps me busy.

"Bye, Braden!" Mickey calls as he leaves with his family, who came after picking his sister up from the older pups group. The little guy has been growing so much; he's also able to pronounce the letter d in my name now.

I wave back with a small smile, the action that has become forced instead of natural this past year. I already know that it doesn't meet my eyes but at least I can still make one appear. For the pack and my student's sake, I have to keep trying to be normal, to be like I was before.

Before was a long time ago, though. Almost two years. I don't want to think about it but I can't help remembering that my anniversary of meeting Jae will be soon. I push those thoughts away as I tidy up the preschool room. Is it possible to feel numbness? That's all I do, is feel numb.

Sometimes though, the pain does creep in.

Going back to the days where I could worship Jae from a far didn't work and I decided to live as I did before all of it. I refused to listen to any mention of my mate for so long it's been months since anyone in the pack has brought up the subject.

At first, Jae would try to call. It was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made, but I didn't answer. I didn't read the texts either. I can't handle being just a fan or the Luna's weird family member again. The attempts to contact me were rare anyway and there hasn't been one in a while. My avoidance probably only helped the mate pull to fade away.

The Luna doesn't tell me about his contact with Jae either. It was hard to convince him at first, but I think the Alpha helped him to understand how much it was hurting me. I wanted to explain it to Jae, too, only that would lead to other things. Like me begging and groveling, or worse, blurting out that he's my mate and I can't seem to live without him.

Sighing, I leave the empty room and head back to my room. Despite my best efforts, the closer I get to the anniversary, the harder it is not to think about Jae and the first time I met him. I had never felt so much joy in my entire life, meeting the other half of my soul. Every little interaction with Jae after that brought me endless happiness. Except, I got too close and I can't handle the after effects of being apart.

The nights are the longest. I volunteer to run patrol as often as the Beta will allow it, forcing me to focus on something else. If I can't do that, I'll go clean at the Luna's clinic, but the monotonous task still gives me too much time to think.

Upon reaching my room, I don't linger, just take the chance to get cleaned up. I used to spend hours in here, but eventually time washed away all of Jae's scent and now I can't stand it. I never unpacked the pictures of Jae either, just replaced the pictures with Jae and I together and buried the box back in my closet.

Unexpectedly, Jae sent me another birthday present this year, probably at the Luna's request. I refused it and the Alpha agreed to keep it packed away somewhere. I was worried I'd lose control with the scent again. I'm still worried, that I'll unknowingly find myself on a plane to Korea if I'm not careful. I can't do that to Jae.

After getting changed, I go help with dinner. Being with my pack truly is the most healing thing I've found. Dinner is the usual boisterous affair, followed by spending the evening watching a silly comedy with several of the families.