Chapter 38: Slow Marching to the End

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Mature Content Warning

A/N: Cheese alert, too.

Jae

"Shit."

Not now, please.

My sweet Braden just said the words of love, the love that he's been showing me from the very first moment. Those words that are one in a million of gestures he shows me.

Unfortunately, I know why my manager is calling. I've already been gone far longer than expected, longer than than my company wanted to allow. I have to go back.

Rolling away from the warm body cuddled up against me, I answer the call.

"Anyoung haseyo, Manager-nim."

The voice of my manager weakly fills my mind, but I can barely focus on the flight details let alone all of his reprimands for disappearing so long. Instead, all I can pay attention to is the worry and pain that seem to flow off Braden and into my heart.

I've already made my decision. All.

If I'm going to give myself to Braden fully, I need to release the current constraints.

The pictures of Braden and I the first day we met catch my attention. Taken at the hotel room the night after the chaos at the airport, I stand beside him, smiling my 'posing with a fan' smile. I'd been too worried about Alec-hyung at the time, being around that giant boyfriend and a crazy kid, my memories of Braden then are faint.

A tiny kid watching me carefully the whole time. His small body pressing protectively between me and the angry Christopher. A soft puff of air on my cheek when I stand next to him.

After that, I left for the tour, then returned to Korea. I never even spoke to him again until I showed up here. Disbelief hits me. Also, pain and shame at myself. How did he do it? How did he hide himself carefully and let me leave, feeling that way about me? The same way that I feel about him now.

How am I supposed to leave today?

My focus gets pulled back to the conversation enough to say goodbye and end the call. Hopefully, he sends me all that information in a text because I have no idea what he said. I get up and escape to the bathroom, avoiding getting a glimpse of Braden. If I look at him now, fresh from sleep and our lovemaking I know that I will never leave that bed again.

Splashing some cold water on my face makes me a little more alert. My eyes stare at myself in the mirror but my mind is still seeing Braden last night, in the shower and in bed. I remember him coming home, his body ravaged by teeth and claws and how he clung to me when he had his strength back.

The images keep coming, tightening my chest. I struggle to breath remembering the short time I've spent with him here, the strength of my feelings overpowering me. Braden is so much stronger than me, I can't do this!

Braden, okay, focus on Braden. I can do this for him, for us!

Somehow, I made it to the airport and caught my plane on time. It was hard, putting on such a false mask. Even with the pack members, treating the people that welcomed me so openly with a closed off, public smile felt slimy.

I almost lost it, though. When Braden broke down, gripping my shirt so tightly. His words were lost among the tears, but I felt what he wanted with every beat of my own heart. I took one last hug, imprinting the feeling of his curls against my fingers, his warm body pressed against me. Setting him apart from me was the worst thing I've ever done and I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

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