Lights Up - Prinxiety [COMPLETED]

Chapter Nine

I go back to work on the production the next day because that's my job and my next day off isn't until Monday. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous and uncomfortable to be around Roman Prince after ignoring him and standing him up since the media caught us on our first date.

This wasn't his fault. I know that, deep down, but I can't help but feel anger and resentment rise up in my throat each time I check my phone for the time and see my notifications flooded with Twitter, Instagram, and even my fucking Tumblr being overrun by the people who wanted me to leave Roman or wanted to use me to get to him. I turn it on Do Not Disturb and shove it deep into my hoodie pocket. I don't want to look at it anymore.

The anger is clouding my senses, however right or wrong it is of me to be angry with Roman. I told him this would happen. I told him I was scared of being pulled into the public eye for dating him. I told him to stop making advances because of it, but he didn't.

I didn't keep rejecting him either. I'm more than willing to admit that I'm guilty too. I was a fool to think he and I could work without being harassed online or everywhere we go. I can only go to Patton's shop in the earliest hours of the morning or there'll be some fan of some kind hovering around waiting for me or Prince to show up. It's a miracle that they haven't found my apartment yet.

Shaking out my head, I refuse to focus on these things anymore and instead focus on cleaning the mirror in Roman's dressing room. It's peaceful and quiet, the air still with calmness, but it quickly shifts to being still and full of tension as the door opens.

The actor steps inside, sees me, and immediately sighs as he moves to place his bag down on the couch. I don't acknowledge him, though it's clear that we are both aware of each other's presence in the room. He hasn't said anything yet. I risk a glance at him through the mirror, my gaze landing on him and drinking in his appearance.

He looked horrible; well, as horrible as the most beautiful person in the world could look.

Dark circles hang under his eyes which are red, as though he'd recently been crying. His hair isn't brushed or washed and his clothes look like they've just been thrown on. I try not to let it bother me, but when Roman looks up at me with his gorgeous eyes wide and sad, I can't help the way my heart aches.

I drop my gaze and swallow back my emotions. This wasn't the time or place to have a conversation about what happened. Frankly, I didn't want to think about it right this moment anyway.

The actor doesn't share my point of view on this though, which is obvious when he takes a step toward me and speaks my name. "Virgil-" he manages to get out before I cut him off.

"You have to go to stage in five minutes," I say, voice monotone and emotionless.

He flinches as I meet his gaze with a blank one of my own. I give nothing away as I head for the door, not even bothering to pause to see if he tries to stop me.

~

It's late in the afternoon by the time rehearsal is over. The sky has darkened with clouds and it has begun to rain, almost as though the weather was accompanying me as I walk home from the theatre. I keep my hood up as I ride the subway, not daring to look around in case fans of Roman were around and looking for me.

It's unnerving to know that they will be now, even if they've got no real proof that we're even still seeing each other after the whole Twitter drama.

The rain doesn't bother me as I return to my apartment. I changed apartments actually, because the fangirls followed me up to the one that was directly above the reception desk. When I explained my predicament to the woman, she had no problem moving me to a bigger complex that was its own separate building.

I was able to pay for it because of the job I'd gotten from Logan's connections to Broadway, so I silently thank him for that.

When I get inside, the air is cool and hollow. There's no feeling of home in the walls or the floors. I don't know if there will ever be, but I can try and make the most of it anyway. It's a nice apartment. I shouldn't complain.

It's an hour later that I get a knock at my door. I hear the rain pounding outside and wonder who on earth was trying to knock on my door in this weather. As I open it, I get my answer.

Roman Prince is standing on my doorstep, dripping wet as rain continues to pour down on him, holding a bouquet of shimmering red roses. His teeth are chattering as he tries to smile, but his lips fall back into a sad frown upon seeing my blank expression. "These are for you," he says, handing me the flowers.

I can't move, I can't bring myself to take them. He sighs heavily and lets the hand holding them to fall back at his side.

"We really need to talk," he insists, looking pleading. I open my mouth to argue but he stops me. "I know you don't want to, I know you're scared and anxious about all of this, but please. Give me a chance to explain."

I stay quiet, weighing my options. If I shut him out, I could maybe get my life back before it becomes public domain of the citizens of the Internet. But how miserable would I be? If I talk to him, I'll undoubtedly fall even further for him, but am I ready to handle a public relationship with a celebrity?

Not to mention his career was being jeopardized; I saw some of the tweets and the posts, though there were plenty of supporters, many slandered his name and bashed him for being on a date with a man.

"Are you gonna let me in? Or are you gonna let me freeze to death in this rain and give fans more time to spot me outside your door?" Roman says, pulling me from my thoughts.

I sigh and usher him in. "God, come in," I say exasperatedly. I take the roses from him as he passes me, feeling my heart swell with joy and affection at the gesture. That's when I realize something and turn to him with a glare once I've locked the door. "How do you know where I live?"

"L-Logan and his friend Patton knew," he confesses, looking down sheepishly. "I know it's wrong to not have gotten it from you, but I just needed to see you and talk to you."

I sigh again, staring at the wet flowers in my hands. "I don't know what to say, Roman," I reply honestly. "I don't know if I can handle being in a relationship with someone of your social status. You're a celebrity! People were already coming to my other apartment after our Twitter moment, what if they find me? What if some crazy fans try to kill me or something?! I'm terrified of all the judgement and all the attacks and criticism... it hurts even though I know they don't know what they're talking about..."

"Virgil, I know you're scared, I know that my status intimidates you, but I... I think I'm in love with you," he says, taking my hand in his.

I feel electricity coursing through my veins at the touch. My eyes are drawn to it as his thumb traces circles on the back of my hand. I think about what he's just said; he thinks he's in love with me. That's a horrible mistake on his part.

"I'm not someone people will be happy to see you with," I reply. "People will judge you, not just for being with a man, but for being with a man of my lifestyle."

"But I don't care what they think!" Roman exclaims, cupping my cheek with his other hand. He pulls me to look him in the eye as he goes one. "I said I think I love you, and that's wrong. I know I love you, and you don't have to say it back by any means, I don't expect you to feel the same quite yet, but that's not the point. The point is I want you in my life."

I begin to protest that he's confused and infatuated with the idea of me and not actually in love but he cuts me off. "I've never been happier with someone than when I'm with you. Please Virgil, at least give us a chance."

I want to say no, but when I look into his pleading caramel colored eyes, I can't. I lean forward and kiss him gently.

He kisses back and it's full of hope, passion, and love. His hope, his passion, his love... and that's enough. That's enough to get us through this, until it becomes our hope, our passion, our love.

I kiss him, determined that after so many years of pain and loss, I'll keep this good thing in my life.