The pastel inside of you

1.2

Next one is the final so get yourself prepared
10 years later

Dan's funeral felt like ages ago. Phil even remembers what he wrote in the heart warming speech that everyone cried too. Suzi was placed in prison and Dan's dad was informed. He finally met Phil. He was a converted pastel from punk.

Phil remembered that night. That night what was illegal and so fun. The night he lost his virginity to his best friend. His boyfriend.

Phil had Dan's belongings in a black case at the back of his closet.

He remembered when he first met Dan. They immediately clicked. Dan was talking about punk stuff while Phil talked pastel until his best friend switched and then he switched to punk.

He remembered when they would sneak out at night just to see each other. For their anniversary they would walk down the cold streets of Manchester and dance at this abandoned fountain.

He remembered how he got Dan that jacket and how he got given his favourite flower crown.

He mainly remembered when he came out and identified as biterm (you are either girl or boy not sexuality) but mainly pastel to remember Dan and he finally knew who he was.

Phil did move on and he did marry someone. Phil married Louise. Louise and him don't do anything sexual except kisses on cheeks and they sleep in the same room but not bed. This happened because they promised each other if Phil didn't find anyone in five years of Dan's death they would marry. They adopted two little boys. Lark Daniel Lester and James Michael Lester.

He also remembered when him and Dan went to a wedding between his brother and his sister in law.

Even though Dan is gone he knows Dan is always with him. Dan was buried in a violet jumper, black jeans and the leather jacket. He held a flower crown Phil brought specially for this. It matched Phil's eyes and the jumper. It was alternative. One flower one colour and the next one the other and so on.

Phil visits the grave often. He sits there just talking to him. But he found a letter from Dan. Which was address to him.

'Dear Phil/Philip (Lion)
If you got this then I passed. I am going to be honest. I had stage three lung cancer and never wanted to do chemo. If I went to prom with you I hoped you had fun with me and didn't get sick of me. How about that five year anniversary? Well I knew I wouldn't of made that. I hoped you kissed me right after I died so I could remember those soft lips. Look after Louise and the girls when I'm gone. When I'm gone please come and visit me. Talk to me like I'm there and remember my witty and sarcastic comments you love. I will miss your laugh, eyes and smile. But definitely your voice when you sung softly to me. Look after James please and my real dad. My mum doesn't need anyone. I was lucky my doctor didn't tell you. That's the reason I passed out. It's also the reason I cried when you told me I was going in an orphanage. Ten minutes before I found out. Phil I love you if you wondered. I hoped you moved on. Well not like that but found someone who makes you happy. I hope god treats me with care and I'll see you when you come up okay? I hope it isn't soon because I'll be fine with my nan and grandad. They will look after me perfectly. Also as my afterlife wish, please, Phil try and find the pastel inside you. I know it's in there somewhere.
Love Daniel (Bear) xoxo.'

P's PoV

Well that was my story. Dan died even before I could ask him if he will marry me. I wish I could but that will happen in heaven. Where I'll meet him again.

L - Phil let's go. James is getting fussy.
P - Yeah one second.

I looked at my wife who was holding our two year son and our five year old son who is stood right next to her.

P - I love you Dan. I found the pastel inside of me.

And with that I was gone. But I remember the last thing he whispered softly to me when he died, blew through the wind.

D - I love you.

I smiled and wiped a tear that fell from my eye as I went on with my life.