Series of small poems that I wrote one day on the way to the beach, around early 2019
(The first one is If. It doesn't really have a rhyme, because occasionally, I do write poems with no rhyme, perhaps as a way to represent the crazy whirlwind state my thoughts are usually at, especially when writing about things like that, the evolution of people, change, getting clean... I drew inspiration from the fact that after going through so so many hardships, emotional and physical, I began healing but, I still felt like holding on to these experiences, embroidering them in my mind, using them as both a strength and a weakness, reminding myself of my stupid mistakes, but also the mountains I've moved by myself and all the emotional change I've gone through and how, somehow, I always get clean. And that's why I want to hold on to that. To remind myself that even in the worst times, I've always come out of it. I don't want to get rid of experiences that have shaped me and made me who I am, good or bad, because in all honesty, it would be like trying to get rid of a part of me. I would have never been here if it wasn't for all of hardships. And, in a sense, I'm grateful that they happened, because whenever I feel weak, I can always look back and see all the progress I made and all the storms I've walked through. )
IF
If someone was to tell me that all my previous problems would go away,
Then what is it all for?
Because, the truth is, I don't want to forget.
I feel as if holding on to the darkness, the deepness,
The sadness, the weakness,
These are the things that lead me,
To what I'll be and what I am
(The next one is called Trust me When I say. It is inspired from the same things as the previous and the next poems, since ya know, I was writing them all one after the other. I feel like with this one, instead of wanting to hold on to the bad experiences, I just wanted to fucking get rid of them, in any way I could. I just needed someone to tell me that they felt the same bad things I felt, and that somehow it was all going to disappear and for once, give me peace. I wanted to be guaranteed some kind of gigantic, magical, spiritual reward for all the shit I went through, if that makes sense, just to know that all this pain was worth something)
Trust me when I say
Trust me when I say,
That I'd spend all the struggles, fear and pain,
Any series of unfortunate happenstances,
Any cracks along the sidewalk,
Every rain, every thunderstorm,
if I knew that someday,
I'd be truly free and happy
(I think what if I was to not care was the last one I wrote. With all these 3 poems, i had the same inspiration, but kind of wrote about different ways to deal with them: appreciating and embracing them, running away from them, and just not caring. With this last poem I looked at it as a more "I'm stuck in a dark hole and I'm hopeless but who cares" kind of way, because I feel like a lot of the time, especially for people who have suffered with mental illness issues, the main aspect of it is the hopelessness that comes out of it. I also included a tiny part about moral relativism (aka doing bad things for good reasons, etc...) because I've recently been more fascinated with it in a sense. I know it's random, but yeah.
What if I was to not care
What if I was to not care?
What if I was to rely on a possible far away death?
What if I didn't love, I didn't cry?
I didn't scream, I didn't lie?
We are a mix of good and evil,
Not one side is ever enough
Because when the world gets boring,
Or for any good act,
We have to act tough
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Maria's thoughts: Inside the mind of the chick in the back of the classroom
Non-FictionAs you may know, writing has always been my absolute passion and my way of escape. Another one of my absolute favorite things in the world is helping people, and having people trust me. I absolutely love bringing happiness to people and forming deep...
