His fanboy ★ Changlix

43

⚠️ CONTAINS SELF HARM ⚠️

Changbin's p.o.v

I'm not needed anymore.

I know what I did was wrong.

I deserve what I get.

All the hate, being unloved I get it.

I'm a useless fuck up.

I'm better off dead.

The only person I've ever truly loved is with someone else happy.

I wish that was me instead.

I hate myself.

Every inch of me is stupid and messed up.

The haters are right.

I'm stupid, ugly, I can't sing or rap. They're all correct.

I wish I was dead.

I look to my left and I see what I've been avoiding since I debuted.

The blade.

I pick it up and twirl it around my fingers.

It's cold. It feels nice.

It's been ages since I last did it.

I deserve it.

I roll up my sleeves.

My old scars, some faded but other prominent.

I put the blade to my wrist and just cut.

I sighed at the old feelings.

Finally.

I did it again and again.

Both arms soon were covered in blood.

My vision was blurry.

I didn't stop.

It felt nice. The feeling of the pain fading after each cut.

I started to see spots but I kept going.

Everything was going back.

I dropped the blade and fell forward my body hitting the floor.

The last thing I heard before my vision went completely dark was the voice in my head telling me what I did was right and Hyunjin screaming and shouting for help.

My vision went completely dark.

I'm sorry.

~~

I'm in a very suicidal mood 😔✊🏻