A Cutter's Lullaby (Chris Motionless Story)

Chapter 22

Monday in English Jessie told me some good news, I had gotten an interview. I was glad to hear something positive at the moment and I think he knew that. I was still filled with guilt that I had lied and blamed Jessie for what I did, so far he has treated me better than anyone I've met in a long time. I wish I could tell him what's happening with my depression, self harm, and how I seem to be falling for him and Chris at the same time. The way I feel about Chris is more intense, but yet again whenever I'm with Jessie I feel happier than I have been since I came here.

Maybe he would take it well and I would figure out that letting people in isn't as hard as I've always thought it to be. Sure I would be running the risk of yet another unwanted person finding out some of my secrets, but as dumb as it sounds, with Jessie it feels different. Trusting him might be foolish, but I'm becoming desperate and I need something to believe in. 

"So later you might want to wear something a little more casual." He tells me gesturing to my outfit, "I'm not sure my boss can handle the queen of Halloween."

I laugh, "This isn't even that bad."

I was wearing a long heavily distressed black sweater with a skeletal design, a white beanie, with black lace tights, and vans. Okay maybe I looked like I was way to excited about October and unfortunately June had only just begun.

"I never said it was, if I were him I would hire you on the spot because you look so cute in it, but he's not me." He explains with a grin.

I tilt my head down, making my hair cover my face to hide my blush as I muttered, "Yeah right."

He placed a hand on my arm, so close to my bandaging that I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't accidentally touch it and ask about it. Also I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he could feel the bumps and ridges of my just as distressed skin.

"You'll get it either way, I just know it."

I raise my head slight to look at him, "And how do you know that?"

He shrugged, "I have my ways."

I began to complain, "Jessie what did I tell you about doing me favors?"

He only chuckled, "I'm not, maybe I just have faith you silly."

"Oh okay." I replied with a slight sarcastic tone.

After class was over Jessie offered to walk with me to the apartment so I could change for the interview and even though I basically pleaded with him to just wait for me at Starbucks he insisted he tag along; to make sure my attire was suitable he said. All I could do the whole way there was worry whether or not Chris was there and what would happen if he was. Once we approached the apartments I stopped and then grabbed Jessie's arm to hold him back with me.

He gave me a half confused and half amused look as he questioned, "Is something wrong?"

"Um I'm going to need you to wait out here while I go check on something inside." 

He barked out a laugh, "Let me guess your ever so charming roommate?"

I knew that was a stab at Chris, but I didn't have time to say anything about it so I just said, "Just hang on a second."

I noticed that Chris's car wasn't there so he probably wasn't either, but just to make sure I went in the apartment and search for the said man, thankfully finding the place empty. I stuck my head out the door and called down to Jessie, "Alright come on up!"

He quickly made his way up the stairs and once inside he gazed around the place murmuring, "Nice place."

I shrugged, "This is all Chris's doing. Uh, so just hang out in here and I'll go get changed."