Kurt and Blaine come home to Lima from New York for the holidays. Blaine learns about the hard times Kurt had before they met. Days later, Kurt is severely hurt and ends up in the hospital.
TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, self harm, depression, profanity...
It's Kurt's and Blaine's winter break. They arrive in Lima one chilly evening to spend the holidays with their families (well mostly with Kurt's more excepting father than Blaine's parents). The next morning, Kurt and his dad go out, just the two of them, for some lunch to catch up. They sit at the counter in the diner as they talk about Kurt's life in NYC and old memories from high school, including, of course, glee club.
"...Ya, Glee changed the course of my life." Kurt said.
Burt thinks about what his son just said, thinking back to Kurt pre-glee club. "Hey, son. You know, I'm so proud of how far you've come. Do you remember what you were like before you joined glee? It was just the two of us, and I uhh... didn't really understand you. I didn't know how to talk to you. But I knew you were struggling. After your mom... and I know you were having a hard time in school. And then you joined glee-"
"I remember you forcing me to join a team because you were worried about me, so I auditioned for glee." Kurt laughs.
"Ya- uh. I remember that. That's when it had gotten out of hand. I couldn't let you deal on your own anymore. I got worried for your safety."
"Wait. What do you mean dad? Karofsky didn't threaten my life until after I was in the glee club."
"I'm not talking about Karofsky.I'm taking about you."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" Kurt asked. Looking at Burt, Kurt realized how serious his dad was. He grabbed his father's hand on the counter.
Burt looked down at his son's hand holding his, a tear came to his eye, and then he looked up into Kurt's eyes.
"I made you join a team because I thought it would help you fit in and feel better. I got called in by that guidance counselor - Mr. Shue's wife - and she told me she caught you reading this-this... brochure thing about-"
He was trying to hold back the tears. Kurt suddenly remembered what his dad was talking about. He froze, his eyes staring, remembering. He hadn't thought about this in a long time.
Burt continues, "...killing yourself. And I - *sniffle* - I couldn't lose you- not after your mom- not my son. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something." He says through light sobs.
Kurt wraps his arms around his dad, trying to comfort him. "Shhh, dad, it's ok. I'm here. I'm happy. Everything's ok."
"I know." Burt said and smiled. "And I'm so happy. Not just that - you know - you're here and well, but that you're happy. You found the person to spend your life with. You're graduating from NYADA. You got your first part in a broadway show! I'm so proud of you Kurt, and so happy."
"I am too, Dad." Kurt hugs his dad then jokingly says, "Remember when I came out to you?"
"Oh don't get me started on that!" Burt said lightly as he wiped the remaining tears from his eyes.
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The next day, Mr. Shue invited Kurt and Blaine over for dinner. Emma had prepared a big meal for them, and they got to meet the newest addition to the family.
They were all wrapping up dinner when the conversation of glee comes up, and its very beginning. Blaine listens, learning new things about his husband.
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"Oh my god" Will said laughing. "I remember your audition. You did Mr. Cellophane remember?"
"I do." said Kurt with a giggle, thinking back.
"I thought you might be gay from the beginning," Mr. Shue continues. "But then - the way you swiped your hair- I knew! I even wrote in in my notes!" Everyone at the table was laughing.
"Wait– you did Mr. Cellophane as your audition song for glee club?" asks Blaine with a goofy smile on his face.
"Ya, Mercedes helped me pick it out, but it was prefect for how I was feeling at the time. In the closet, bullied, alone.... depressed." Blaine and Mr. Shue both give Kurt a supportive look.
"Will, I have thanked you many times; Glee Club saved me. But Emma," Kurt turned from Mr. Shue to Mrs. Shue. "I don't think I ever thanked you." Will looks at Emma confused, and Blaine at Kurt with the same confusion. Emma, for the moment, doesn't remember what Kurt means.
"I was depressed. I was really depressed." Kurt says and looks over at his husband, realizing Blaine has never heard this before.
But he continues anyway, "Emma, you told my dad I was considering taking my life. And because of that my dad forced me to join a team, so I joined glee."
Kurt looks over at Blaine's shocked face and says, "I'm sorry you're hearing this for the first time. Honestly I had forgotten how rough that point in my life had gotten until my dad reminded me of it yesterday."
Mr. Shue looks at his wife in amazement. Blaine stares at Kurt wide-eyed.
"I'm sorry Blaine," Kurt whispers. "I should have told you privately–" he's cut off as his husband hugs him.
Not letting go, Blaine whispers, "I'm so sorry, Kurt."
Kurt's a bit shocked, "What are you sorry for, baby?"
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
As Blaine lets go, Emma looks to Kurt and said, "You're welcome, Kurt."
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Blaine kept glancing at Kurt with these saddened looks as they were leaving.
When they're outside, Kurt says again, "I'm sorry, Blaine. I really should have told you before. I really didn't remember until my dad told me the story again-" He was trying to explain before Blaine cut him off, "Shh– baby. I'm not upset you didn't tell me."
Then Blaine starts to cry, "I'm upset because I can't imagine my life without you. And to think-" he sobs, "that I almost never even had you in my life at all. That I never would have even met you." Blaine breaks down hysterical into Kurt's arms.
"Baby. Baby!" Kurt says trying to get through to his husband. Blaine finally looks at Kurt again. "I'm here." Kurt says. "I didn't do it, and I'm here. We're here. It's all ok."
Blaine tries to get himself under control. "Just promise me." He says to Kurt. "Promise me that if you EVER think ANYTHING like that again– you'll tell me. Please don't leave me..." and he starts to sob again.
"I promise." Kurt says. "And I'm NEVER leaving you."
