Can't Live Without You (Klaine Fanfic)

8. It'll be okay

TRIGGER WARNING: talk of suicide attempt

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"Let me help you, son." Burt says as Kurt try's to move himself. He has a hard time manuring with the casts, so Burt and Blaine help him out of the car and into the wheelchair. After almost two weeks in the hospital, Kurt was finally going home.

The couple decided to stay in Lima while Kurt recovered. Blaine set up to take his NYU classes online for the semester and Kurt had to call and give up his role in the Broadway show. He was also going to have to miss his final semester at NYADA and do it in the fall of next year. He wasn't too upset though, he was grateful both himself and Blaine were gonna be ok.

After Kurt was inside and settled, Burt gave his son a kiss on the forehead, afraid a hug would hurt him, and headed upstairs, leaving the couple alone in the guest bedroom on the first floor of the Hummel-Hudson house, where Kurt would be staying. 

"I don't want to kick you or anything in my sleep, so you can have the bed. I'll sleep on the couch in the living ro–"

"No!" Kurt says franticly, cutting Blaine off, "No, I want you here. With me. Please, stay." Kurt says after a breath, giving Blaine the puppy eyes.

Blaine couldn't resist, and he was also worried about how needy Kurt had been since he woke up from the coma. Kurt had been like this a lot, not wanting Blaine too far from him. Blaine was starting to think Kurt might have some post-tramtic stress from the incident. "Ok, I'll get some blankets to sleep on the floor."

Kurt watches as Blaine leaves the room and anxiously waits for him to return. Ever since his father told him that Blaine tried to kill himself when Kurt was in a coma, Kurt has kept a close eye on Blaine. He can't sleep well and he's constantly worried about Blaine's mental state. He knows it can't be good for his own recovery, but he just can't imagine having woken up to Blaine being dead, and by his own accord. It would have killed him too. He wants Blaine to see someone and get some help, but he hasn't figured out a way yet to bring it up. Blaine doesn't even know that Kurt knows. Kurt thought that Blaine was just waiting for things to settle down before he told him, but it had been almost a week since he's woken up and now they were home for the first night. Kurt decides if Blaine doesn't bring it up tonight (and maybe he'll drop some hints) then Kurt is going to tell Blaine that he knows.

"Alrighty..." Blaine says coming back through the doorway with a blanket and pillows, "Would you like anything to eat, or you want to watch tv or..." Blaine was running out of ideas of things to do. He didn't know what the two where going to do for entertainment for the next few weeks to months that Kurt was recovering. But it didn't matter, Kurt was safe; that was the important thing.

Kurt can't push the thought from his mind. Now is the prefect time for Blaine to say something, but he isn't. "Blaine, I think we should talk." He spits out before he's fully done deciding if he actually wants to do this this now or not.

"What about honey?" Blaine is clueless as first.

Kurt thinks now or never! and decides to just go for it. "About..." Kurt trails off, not knowing how to start, "about what happened... during my coma." Kurt says awkwardly.

"What about it?" Blaine asks, his heart rating. Does he know? He must know! Who told him? Burt! It must have be Burt. Burt must have told him everything.

As if to answer the unspoken questions in Blaine's head, Kurt says, "I know what happened... on the roof." Kurt says trying so hard not to look away from his husband, and also, trying not to cry. Crying wouldn't do any good.

Blaine, however, can't stand to look at Kurt, so ashamed of what he did, he starts sobbing.

"No... no... shh... baby, shh..." Kurt says trying to comfort Blaine, but unable to move from the bed. "Come here, come here." he waves to Blaine. Blane comes over and sits gently on the bed and then puts his face down into the blankets and cries. Kurt rubs his back. "It's ok, baby. It's ok."

"No, it not." Blaine finally says, lifting his head from the bed, "It was selfish and stupid, so, so stupid! I can't believe that I– stupid... stupid..." Blaine mumbles, his fists on his forehead.

"Baby," Kurt says, "look at me." Blaine finally does. "It's gonna be ok, ok? I think maybe it's a good idea that you go talk to someone... and work out... what happened... your thoughts..."

"All I was thinking about was losing you. Having to live without you. I didn't think I could do it." Blaine says looking into his husband's eyes and wiping his tears. "You are my one and only soul mate, Kurt Hummel. There's no one else, ever, and I couldn't be without you."

"Listen, Blaine, I'm still here. I'm ok; I'm still here, with you. But if anything did–" Blaine looks away and Kurt lightly moves his chin so he is looking at him again, "if anything did ever happen to me, I would want you to be happy, you hear me? My dad and Carole did it. I would not want you to waste your life. And I know you would want to same for me."

Blaine gives Kurt a funny look. It lightens the mood a bit. "Well wouldn't you?" Kurt asks, half-jokingly.

"I just- can't imagine you with anyone else. You're mine Kurt Hummel." and Blaine rubs his nose against Kurt's and then pulls back with a sigh, "But of course, I would never want you to die. And I'd want you to find someone else to make you happy. After a few years." Blaine laughs a bit and Kurt smilies.

"I love you, baby." Kurt says, and leans over to give Blaine a gentle hug.

"I love you too." Blaine says, his head in Kurt's shoulder.

"I'll all be okay." Kurt says into Blaine's ear.

Blaine pulls back, "Ya," he says with a nod and gives Kurt a kiss.

As their lips part, Kurt starts to sing, "🎵Kiss me too fiercely...🎵"

"As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked starts playing.

"🎶Hold me too tight... I need help believing... you're with me tonight. My wildest dreamings... could not foresee... lying beside you... with you wanting me🎶"

Blaine joins in, "🎵And just for this moment... as long as you're mine... I've lost all resistance... and crossed some border line. And if it turns out... it's over too fast... I'll make every last moment last... as long as you're mine🎵"

The two young men sing to each other with love in their eyes, knowing it's going to be a long road of recovery, for the both of them.