Love Has a Color

We're All Disappointments

"No, mother, I told you that Sean and I don't speak anymore," Ashley seethes.

I feel a little awkward at this point in the meal. We've ordered, but, don't have our food yet. So, we're just sitting here making small talk. Asher's mother seems to be very interested in everyone's love lives, which is not a comfortable spot for me. She started at Ashley, and has been drilling her about some guy for twenty minutes now.

It feels like I'm in high school. The teacher is going around the room asking something about each student, and the closer it gets to me the more nervous I get. I don't know if it's because a few months ago I had a horrifying break up, or because I'm falling in love with her son, who just sees me as a friend. Or really, more as a business partner.

"I'm sure you'll find someone, sweetheart. What about you, Asher? I remember you telling me about a girl a while ago, one you met at a café or something? Did you eve-"

"No, mom. No girls." Asher abruptly cuts her off, widening his eyes and almost willing her to stop talking.

She seems about as confused as the rest of us, at first, but eventually nods and turns to Ashton. "Ashton? Anyone we should know about?"

"No," he responds. He clears his throat and reaches for his drink. For the first time tonight he is completely silent.

There is a moment of quiet at the table as Olivia then turns towards me. Thankfully, before she gets a word out, Ashley speaks. "I thought there was someone, Ashton?" We all bring our attention to the twins at the end of the table. Ashton gulps and shakes his head at her. He leans over and whispers something, to which she just scoffs and raises an eyebrow. "How was I supposed to know you chickened out?" She says.

"Chickened out of what?" His mother asks.

"Nothing, mom. And we will talk later, Ashley."

"Ashley, what is going on?" The table goes silent again, as Ashley and Ashton exchange a few glares with each other. "Ashton? One of you, please?"

I look to Asher who looks just as lost, and we both shrug our shoulders. "I don't think we should talk about this anymore mother," Ashley begs.

"I think we should, I don't like that you're hiding something from me."

"Maybe it's none of your business, Olivia. If they want to talk, they will. You're being ridiculous," Mr. Black interjects, earning a scolding look from his wife.

"I will tell you mom, this is just not the right time." Ashton smiles, and tries to nonchalantly nod his head toward his father.

"Ashton, whatever you tell your mother I will find out. You would be a fool to think otherwise. So, for everyone's sake, just say what you need to say. You always make such a big deal out of everything, and in the end no one care-" his father tries to say, but is cut off. Apparently, this is a normal thing with these people.

"I'm gay, dad. That's it. Mother, I don't have a girlfriend, I never have, I never will. I'm gay."

The entire table goes silent. Well, didn't see that coming. I look around at the family's wide eyes, and try to assess the reactions soon to come. To my dismay, no one says anything. The social anxiety in me is really trying to fill the void with something, anything, but I figure it may be best to refrain from adding a comment like "so, you got a boyfriend?" Yeah, probably shouldn't say anything.

Just as I was about to explode with anticipation, the waiter comes over with our food. Oh, thank God! Too bad nobody touches their meals. I'm starving, but I feel as if I should wait. Should I wait? I should probably wait. Why is no one saying anything? What kind of stand off is this?