Behind Quiet Eyes

Part 4

*Christina's POV*

Bobby took me to a drive thru, then took me home. That was a good idea since it was already dark now. I was nervous about the night though. It seemed like it was getting harder to make it through it alone. I didn't want to ask Bobby to stay because I thought he might think it meant more than it did. He tended to do that. After I heard him say what he said when we were sitting on the curb it made me nervous. I did need him though. His company made my days more barable, but I shouldn't lead him on. I guess I was being pretty selfish in a way.

When we stopped outside my house I starred out the window for a moment not saying anything.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked.

"Me? Oh yeah I'm fine. Sorry for the drama."

He got out and came to open my door, then he walked me to the front porch. All my assumptions came true then. I reached for the door and he grabbed my wrist. I jumped, and his hand let go quickly.

"I'm sorry." He said embarrassed.

"No it's fine. Just scared me" I smiled halfheartedly.

"I have to ask you something I've been wanting to ask you ever since I found out that you left the tour without Adam."

Hearing his name out loud ripped through my chest like a bullet. Or 10. I kept myself from sliding to the ground and pulling my knees to my chest.

"Okay." I replied looking down at my fingers that I started fumbling with.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go do something this weekend?"

I was afraid he was going to say that. I scratched my head and avoided the question as long as I could.

"Uhm, I don't know."

"Are you busy this weekend or something?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"So what? I can't hang out with you alone?"

"No, of course you can. I'm just afraid that I'm leading you on. I feel like you're asking me on a date." I had began to feel embarrassed.

"Well, I was. But it's okay. I understand that you're not ready I guess."

I smiled awkwardly then leaned in to hug him then reached for the door.

"Hey Christina!" He called before I shut the door. I looked up. "I really hope that you'll decide to share yourself with someone else again. You don't have to be alone just because you're not with him anymore."

Those words hurt more than hearing Adam's name out loud. I smiled anyways then shut the door.

I got ready for bed and replayed Bobby's last sentence to me a million times. "...because you're not with him anymore." But that wasn't true. Adam and I had never discussed if we were still together. He'd sent my ring back. I just left the tour. Everything else was just left quiet.

I laid down and tried to pull my thoughts away from him, and soon fell into a dreamless sleep. All I could see was blackness, like a dark ocean.

I jumped when my phone started to ring. My eyes flew open and checked the clock, it was 2:30am. I thought maybe I was dreaming. Then when I saw the name on my phone I thought for sure I was dreaming. I pinched my hand. I was awake. I grabbed my phone and answered it.

"Adam?" My voice broke.

"Will you please let me in?" He asked. "I'm at the front."

My heart pounded hard hearing his voice. It'd been a month since I'd heard it. I hung up and ran to the door. I could have cried seeing him stand there, but instead my body froze. He starred back at me. We didn't say anything but we were both thinking the same thing behind our quiet eyes. We were thinking it was like nothing had changed, like we could fall right back into place. Fit perfectly like we once did before, but neither of us said it out loud.