Why Am I Hated?

Chapter 5

Erin

   I was so glad that I woke up and didn't smell booze or smoke. Instead the first thing I smelled was Lillian and lavender. It was a nice change from what I'm use to. I don't even think my dad knows I'm not home, he never really paid any attention to me. Then my step mom didn't even acknowledge me whenever I was at home. I guess you can say I never knew what it was like to have someone really care or look at me that didn't have hate in their eyes or swaying when they walked. 

   When I opened my eyes I saw Lillian's golden brown hair falling down into her face. I smiled at her and how she seemed so at ease while she slept even though she is having troubles. I pushed some of the strands of hair from her face and tucked them behind her ear. She stirred in my arms and nuzzled closer to me. 

“You awake?” I whispered in her ear causing her to slightly gasp. 

“Yeah, I am. What time is it?” she asked as she placed her head on my chest. I turned over and checked my phone. 

“5:15. We have some time before we get to school.” I turned back over and looked at her. 

“Okay.” she pecked my lips then got out of the bed. She grabbed her iPhone and started playing music. I smiled knowing the band she was playing and I knew all the lyrics to the song as well. I got out of bed and started singing the lyrics. 

“Turn on the TV yesterday. So much pain bleeding through I had to look away. But inside made the pictures just the same, and every time I opened up my eyes nothing seems to change. It never seems to change.” Lillian joined in with me when the chorus started. 

“You give me faith to believe there is a way to put the past finally behind me and hope to make it through another night. You give me strength, don't let these dark times, when I'm like faith is hard to find.” we both started laughing together and went out to get some breakfast. Ryan was already in the kitchen, at the table eating some cereal and drinking some milk. 

“Morning guys. Sleep well?” he smirked at us. I rolled my eyes as Lillian glared at him. 

“Come on, eat something then get dressed. We have to stop by and see how Amber is doing, then head to school. Are you guys going public? I'm coming out to the school as a gay dude.” I stared at him in shock. “I'm prepared for the hate. Don't worry. I want you guys to be public though. It would be nice to know that guys won't try to go after my sister.” 

“We'll think about it.” I said to him. Lillian was grabbing bowls and spoons for both of us while I grabbed the cereal and milk. We ate silently, got dressed then headed to see my mom. Ryan did say that we were just going to be seeing how she was doing. I just went inside once we reached the hospital and locked up my bike. I didn't open the door because I looked through the window and saw that she was sleeping. I decided to open it anyway, went straight to my mom, and kissed her cheek. I then did something that I haven't done since I was little. Pray. I got on my knees, propped my elbows on her bed, bowed my head and prayed. 

   I prayed for my mom's health. Prayed for my father to get his life around. Prayed for my step mom to just leave my life forever. Prayed for Ryan to not get so much hate as me. Prayed for Lillian to get through her ex-boyfriend problems. Then I prayed for myself, to not have so much hate, despair, anger, but to have more love and happiness in my life. I don't know why I did, but it felt right to do so. When I lifted my head I looked to my left and right and saw that Ryan and Lillian were on both sides of me praying as well. I smiled at them and waited for them to be done. I focused on my mom as she slept and hopefully when I come back after school she will be here, smiling at me, loving me.