Why Am I Hated?

Chapter 6

This may not be the best chapter I've done, but I promise next chapter will be better.  Sorry for it being so short. 

Erin

   My world shattered. Nothing mattered to me anymore besides what the nurse has just told me. Two words. Two words, broke my world. Two words, ended everything in my life. Two words, destroyed my last ray of sunshine. 

“She's dead.” 

   Those two fucking words. That's all it took. That's what it took to destroy me. To ruin my life, even though it's already ruined. Everything that was happening was like in slow-motion. I could see the lips of Ryan and Lillian's mouth moving, but I heard nothing. I felt numb all over, that was all that I felt until a pair of thumbs ran across my cheeks. I looked at who was doing it and was staring into those soft baby blue eyes that I have come to love. It was then that I noticed that I was crying, like hard crying. I looked back over at the nurse.

“Can I.... Can I see her?” I asked after trying to gather myself, but failed. 

“Of course, sweetie.” she gave me a sad smile. I walked past her towards my mother's room. It seemed like the hallway was longer this time than any other time. I vaguely heard footsteps behind me, indicating that Ryan and Lillian were following. 

   Then I saw her door. 

   I hesitated before I finally opened the door. Everything was the same as last time I was here, but it had more gloom in the air. If she wasn't hooked up to the heart machine, I would've thought she was sleeping. I walked closer to her bedside and noticed something even more strange, but heartwarming at the same time.

   My mother was smiling. 

   It was a small smile, but you could see it if you looked. More tears fell down my face as I looked at her, but seeing the smile made me feel slightly better. She was happy before she died. I'm glad that the last emotion she will ever feel was some kind of happiness. 

   I knelt down beside her bed and finally let all of my emotions out. I rested my head on my crossed arms in front of me on her bed. I screamed a scream that was a mix of agony and sorrow as the tears came faster like raging waters. I sat there sobbing numb to the world. Why did that have to happen to me? Why did she have to die now? Why? 

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   I woke up in Lillian's bed still in the same clothes from yesterday. When did I get here? Did I fall asleep? Or blacked out? I wouldn't be surprised with how much I cried. I sat up, leaned my back against the wall and hugged my knees. I only sat like that for a little bit until the door opened and Lillian came in. 

   She sat down on the bed. Said nothing and did nothing to me. All she did was sit next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. Somehow that little gesture did it for me. I didn't want to talk and she knew it. I just want her company and that's what she did. 

   Ryan came in too. He read a book then brought in his Xbox and started playing a game I didn't recognize. I liked that it wasn't that eerie silence anymore, but that game was annoying. I loved that didn't ask me anything about how I was doing or something like that. We all just sat there until I realized I had to go home. Back home to tell my father, if he wasn't drunk, that my mother, his first wife is dead. I'm already dreading it. 

   I'm grabbing my bike and rolling it out the door when Lillian came up to me. 

“Erin, do you have to go?” she asked me with pleading eyes. 

“Yes. I have to tell my father.” I had to look away from her face or else I'll stay. 

“Please be careful. Send me a text when you get home, please.” she stepped closer to me. 

“Yeah, I will, promise.” 

“Okay.” Lillian was now in front of me and she pulled on my chin to look at her. She gave me a quick kiss and pulled me into a hug. “I'm always here for you, Erin. I love you.” she whispered in my ear. She released me and stepped back. I just nodded at her and got on my bike then rode away. 

   Why didn't I say that I loved her back? I do love her, I should've said it. I should now that this world can be very cruel and you should cherish what you have before it's gone. I'll tell her when I get home over and over and over again. 

   Home. When I get home I have to tell the bad news. Hell, my father might be too drunk to know what I'm saying. It's just going to be a pull the band-aid off situation. 'Father, mom is dead. Night!' Yeah, like that'll work. Their will have to be questions, that I don't have the answers to. 

   I didn't realize that I was going into the road while I was in my mind babble. I almost didn't notice the car that was about to hit me. It was coming right at me since I was going against traffic. Luckily, I was able to avoid it and focused on the road until I was home. 

   No surprise, my father is drunk and step-mother, nowhere to be seen. Typical. I just went straight to my room and laid down in my bed as a wave of pain rolled over and seeped into my bones. I felt like screaming, but I was short of breath. I saw some flashes of bright lights and blurry images. Then it was all gone. Everything just stopped and I was just lying in my bed. 

   I sat up slowly and looked around my room. That was weird. I got up and changed my clothes to some sleepwear then got back in bed. I slowly fell asleep after shooting a text to Lillian. 'I'm home and I love you. I love you very much.' I didn't hear her reply back before I fell asleep, but I'll check in the morning. 

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   I kept on seeing the same flashes of the bright lights, images, and felt that same pain as I slept that night. I sat up and checked my phone and still there was no reply from Lillian. I just shrugged it off and ask her today at school. I got up from my bed and quickly changed my clothes. I crept into the kitchen and grabbed something to eat. It was weird, my father was in there and not drunk. 

   Now or never Erin. 

“Henry, um... mom... she's... she's... dead.” I said quietly. He heard though, I saw him flinch. 

“I know. The... the hospital called.” he said, face grim. 

“Oh.” 

“Erin, I'm sorry. I haven't been a dad to you and that's going to change now. I already kick your step-mother out. I'm going to go into rehab for my drinking. Most importantly, I'm going to start being a real dad to you. I promise.” he said looking at me intently. 

“Uh, okay. I look forward to it.” I said sheepishly.

“Do you need a ride to school?” he offers standing up. 

“I'll just take my bike. Thanks for the offer.” He just nods at me then goes into his room. I walk out of the front door and grab my bike. Are things starting to change for the greater good in my life? I sure hope so, but I hat that it took my mothers death for things to change. It seems things are starting to look up now.