In Exile

Chapter Twenty

You were bouncing on cloud nine when you got home that evening, your worries about facing Loki and your emotional downer was temporarily alleviated by the elation of seeing so much money at one time in your bank account.

Much to the confliction of your mood shifting between emotions once again, the house was dark and quiet when you stepped inside, meaning that Loki was either napping or out.

A quick check of his room proved your initial belief, that he had gone out for the evening and you more than believed that he was out with Rachel, an image you didn't want to immediately spring to but couldn't help jumping to.

So, you decided on a quiet evening for yourself.

Using the newly acquired money that you had, you decided to treat yourself to a rare bit of take-away that you typically couldn't afford on your usual monthly pay.

As you waited for the food to arrive, you went through all your direct debits and paid off each one, starting from the highest to the lowest, each confirmation of payment feeling like an even bigger weight off your shoulders.

You'd always had a plan for this kind of situation, when you came into a lot of money, even though in the past it was pure fantasy and you never believed that it would actually happen.

Now that it had, your plans had all but been forgotten, completely slipped your mind and you couldn't remember them for love nor money, it seemed the shock of having even a small sum of what you had signed for had shut off your brain.

All that took over was the elation of knowing that every month your wages would stretch that much further with no debts eating away at your hard-earned cash, a feeling that was unlike anything you could explain.

Barely forty minutes after ordering, your food arrived and it was time to settle down with some terrible movie, some food, a satiating drink and a warm blanket to stem away the cold winter nights.

The perfect start to an evening before a day off.

You'd lost track of how much you had watched, but you estimated to be two and a half movies in before the door opened and Loki stepped inside, locking it behind him.

You paused what you were watching as Loki walked into the room, his face giving away that he was exhausted but thankfully not in a bad mood.

"Eating without me?" He commented, noting the fast food cartons on the table.

"You weren't here and I didn't know where you were or how long you'd be," you shrugged, "and I was hungry."

He nodded and dropped into his usual armchair, working on unbuckling his boots to kick them off.

"Did you have fun?"

Loki shrugged a little and threw his boots to one side before having the audacity to grab one of the cartons, you were beginning to get too full to eat it anyway but you would have liked if he had at least asked.

"I suppose, though it seems clubs aren't a thing I would particularly choose to go to in my spare time."

"Then why did you?"

"Rachel wanted to show me a rock club she is strangely infatuated with," he glanced at you before scooping some of the food into his mouth.

You nodded slowly, taking a bite of your own to try and stop your face from contorting at the confirmation of your theory.

"She's the girl you were talking to at the party, correct?" You weren't sure if your feigned disinterest was going to work and you didn't truly want to continue the conversation, but that horrible curious part in the back of your brain needed to know what you feared for certain.

"Yes, that would her."

"Ah, you seem pretty close then."

"She helps make the work day go by faster."

"Do you like her?"

Loki gave you a look, one that made it seem like the most obvious answer in the world.

"She's more tolerable than some, so I guess I would say that I like her."

"No," you forced a laugh, giving him an equally as forced smile, "I mean romantically? Is there a little office love brewing."

Even though you were attempting to be teasing, the way your hands went cold and your stomach felt hollow didn't make the front an easy one to keep up.

His expression shifted of one of condescension to one of utter bemusement.

"Since when did you care about my romantic conquests?"

"I don't particularly, I was just asking."

"Well don't," he snapped, standing up from his chair, "I'm going to read and then I'm going to bed, try to put these ridiculous questions behind you in the morning."

His reaction was startling, to say the least, and you watched his retreating back with widened eyes, unsure of how to take his reaction.

Was it defensive?

Did 'romantic conquest' mean that he had slept with her?

Or was he simply tired or felt you weren't yet close enough to divulge personal information with?

The more you dwelled, the further you sank into your own pit of self-destructive thinking and no amount of take-away eating or TV watching was going to distract you from it.