In Exile

Chapter Twenty Two

It was a pleasant surprise when that afternoon Loki knocked on your bedroom door and invited you out for a while, distracting you from the book that you were flying through.

"Don't think anything of it," he said with a shrug, "I just thought that I should make amends for how I've acted in the past."

"I wasn't going to assume anything else."

"I was just making sure, considering our conversation earlier."

You rolled your eyes and set the bookmark between the pages before closing the book and sitting up straighter on the bed, setting the book down beside your hip.

"I'm not big headed or deluded enough to think that I'm the one you like, Loki."

"Good," he gave a sharp nod then backed out of the doorway, "you have fifteen minutes."

"Aye aye, Captain," you saluted at the door just as it clicked shut.

And straight away he was back to making demands.

It was good to know that some things never changed.

It turned out that Loki's idea of making amends was a stroll through the cold town as it got dark, just as the Christmas lights came on.

Admittedly, it was very pretty and calming with a pleasant atmosphere.

For the first time in what felt like a century the tension between you both dissipated and you could laugh and joke about, eventually Loki started telling you about his time on Asgard and his many years of adventures with Thor.

At one point, you both sat down to enjoy a warm snack he'd dipped into a nearby shop to buy and enjoyed the Christmasey atmosphere that was around you.

You tried to keep the though from springing to the front of your mind, but there was a little niggle in the back of your head that was pointing out just how much this felt like a date.

There were attempts at distraction as you brought up a few subjects to talk about, the last one being the choice of light decorations that year, but that feeling wouldn't go away.

"Speaking of Christmas," you started, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin, "what do you want?"

"Me? I don't really want anything,"

"Oh come on, everyone wants something and I can't leave you with nothing to open."

"Really, I don't want anything," Loki shrugged, "besides, I may not even be around to celebrate your Christmas."

Your heart uncomfortably skipped a beat and your blood ran cold, but you managed to mask it and looked at him with both surprise and curiosity.

"You won't?"

"No, Rachel has invited me over."

"Ah," you nodded, "that was real nice of her."

"It was," he hesitated for a moment and fiddled with his half eaten food, "it may also be a permanent thing."

"What?"

Your eyebrow rose as Loki looked at you, his expression unreadable.

"It's nothing personal, I'm just unsure of how long I'm going to be here and I feel as if I've taken up enough of your time."

"I don't mind."

"Only because you're getting paid for it."

There was something to that point that stung.

Did he really think you were only keeping him around for the payment?

Sure, that may have been true in the beginning but things had changed.

Loki had changed.

In the beginning he had been an insufferable, spoilt ass who barely knew how to take his own cup to the sink, but now he was not only doing basic household chores but he would willingly offer and didn't complain if you asked him to do something.

"Loki."

"It's fine, I get it, who wants to deal with a stuck-up, once a demi-god and now a powerless prince? I wouldn't have put up with me, but I also don't understand why I haven't been sent back and it's making me unpleasant to be around."

"Then why move? I'm used to it."

"To save you some stress."

"Save me some stress?!"

Loki flinched back a little at the sharpness of your tone, his eyebrows raising before his face contorted into confusion.

"Yes, I thought th-"

"I doubt you thought anything! Did you even bother to ask if I minded before going? When was this arranged?"

"She asked if I wanted to a few days ago."

"A few days?!"

"Yes, why are you getting so mad? I don't need your permission to live my own pathetic, Midgardian life."

Now Loki's tone was beginning to catch an edge, his eyes narrowing a little.

"Because," you floundered under his gaze, stuttering as you attempted to think of a viable excuse. "Because this was an agreement that I officially had with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"And I'll speak with the Director and make sure he still pays you."

"That isn't the point!"

"Then what is?!"

You stared at Loki as he glared back, both of you taken aback by the situation that was unfolding in front of you but also too far gone for either of you to stop it.

As you watched each other, unblinking, your stomach dropped as you saw something you hoped you were wrong about flash in Loki's eyes.

Even in the darkness it was noticeable and you hoped that he would drop it.

"I know what the point is," he said slowly, his voice much calmer.

Of course he wouldn't drop it.

Your stomach lurched and you lost your appetite.

You found that you couldn't look at him any further and turned your head away from him, balling your hands into fists in your lap.

"This is about Rachel, isn't it?"

You didn't say anything, merely focused on keeping your breathing even as your throat constricted and tears stung your eyes.

"I knew it," he said, "I knew all this time that you didn't like her."

"I never said that."

"You don't have to, you made it evident from the moment you saw us talking at the party."

You licked your bottom lip and wordlessly shook your head, trying to deny everything physically as your mind screamed at you to just say the truth.

Loki let out a laugh, a huffed laugh that sounded as bitter as it felt to hear.

"Why? What has she ever done? Get close to me?"

You still didn't look at him, but you knew that he was staring.

"Of course, because you want me all to yourself, despite the fact that you didn't even want me around to begin with, at least she didn't have to be paid to be my friend."

He stood from his seat, leaving everything on the table as he turned from you and adjusted his coat.

"Loki," you tried to say, though it came out closer to a broken whisper.

"Don't bother, I knew this would be a mistake after last night."

Loki didn't look at you, not even a glance over his shoulder as he slid his hands into his pockets and walked away.