Power And Control [ Ziall ]

ii. small = cute

[ if you care about me or want to know why i haven't updated in so long read the author's note at the end :) also i need to explain something new. other than that, enjoy! x ]

“Women and men, we are the same, but love will always be a game; a human vulnerability; doesn't mean that I am weak.”

Weeks passed by and school got back to normal; girls and boys, men and women, they all kept on living life, going to school with tired expressions and getting out with smiles, close to tears. But, apparently, teachers were teaching and students were learning, right?

Niall did, too. Apparently.

Thing is, Zayn had stayed in his English Class and also in his Biology Class and Math Class and it took more space up in his mind than he liked.

Weeks had been stressful and Niall felt exhausted, not just because of school, but because of pretty much everything that was happening around him at the time. — Harry had his second boyfriend and Liam was happily in love with Danielle. And Niall? Well, he felt weird.

No-one looked at him the way Liam looked at Danielle. And that was kind of... saddening; it made his heart squeeze uncomfortably and he just felt really lonely. But then again, how could someone like him that way? Niall was sure that there was no-one desperate enough to fall in love with him. At least, that's what he came up with after his ex-girlfriend broke up with him, saying, “Piss off, no-one cares about you or your stupid problems.”—Her words. And to say they didn't still sting would be a lie.

But then, there was also this other problem. You see, him being insecure had not only lead to a break-up, but also comparing himself to everyone around him. And he knew it was spoiling his happiness, but he couldn't help it. It had all started a year ago and he had spent the summer hating himself. And now here he was.

Starving had been proofed to be harder than he had imagined. His father had been watching him like he knew, but the truth was, he probably never would.

Niall started to despise eating and eating in front of other people even more so; it felt like a torture every single time, because the moment he looked into the mirror, his eyes started prickling with tears. He was fat. Fat and disgusting. But that was okay. It was okay, because he had a plan.

* * *

“Gosh, you have no idea how much I hate Math,” Harry groaned, tossing his gum in the bin before sitting down next to the blond. — "It's not thathorrible,” he chuckled, lazily smiling at him. Harry raised an eye-brow, “Yeah, only because you got some tutoring.”

Niall shrugged absentmindedly, eyes roaming over the students walking in until dark eyes got caught in his and he may or may not have blushed. — “Oh no, is he daydreaming again?” Liam's voice chirped up from somewhere his left and he snarled in response. — “I'm not daydreaming, you cunt.” Niall rolled his eyes, fingers nervously fiddling with his exercise book. He couldn't help it, alright? Zayn was just — beautiful. God, he had never seen a more beautiful person in his entire life—but that didn't mean that he liked him that way. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of that. Because he had heard enough stories about Mr I-Get-Everyone. Besides, he wouldn't have been good enough, anyway, right?

Harry huffed a breath, “And you say he doesn't like you.” — “Harry's right. He's staring at you the whole time.” — “Boy needs some hobbies,” Harry laughed, high five-ing Liam who chuckled along. Niall grimaced. “Very funny, you two. Oh! That reminds me, Haz,” he smirked, knowing exactly he could get him with it, “What's with you and this bro of his?” Harry narrowed his eyes, “Ew, no. He's so arrogant it's ridiculous.”