Surviving in Chaos

Final Wishes

I don’t know why I looked. I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t pull myself away before I saw that zombie’s face. It was my Dad’s. For days, I had tried not to think of him, not to look for him, but here he was on this remote island. How did he get in? If it was after the infection started, when?

I had found some friends before this, and felt both shocked and amazed by how the infection could turn a person into a zombie. Each time, I would kill them because I felt it was inhumane to let them remain that way. Did zombies have souls? Were they able to be saved? My dad was running fast towards us. He had always been fit, enjoying early morning runs. His entire left arm was missing and he had a horrible bite on his hips.

Blake saw my expression as he pulled the car out of the driveway, and looked up at the zombie. It was hard to make sense of a blood dripping zombie but Blake managed to see our connection. “Cassie” He put a hand over mine. I was numbed with shock, unsure of what to do. Now that he was really here, I did not know if I could kill him or if I should ask Blake to. I just could not think. Blake spun the car and drove us out of there.

When we got back to the stadium, I was literally shaking. I had come to a conclusion on the silent driveway back that I had to go back to kill him. It was my mum’s final wish after all. It would be hard to find him again as the area was so huge. Not to mention the fact that 70% of the land was undeveloped and forested with difficult to trek, hiking trails. They may not be difficult to navigate but any reasonable person would certainly tell you that it’s hot and tiring. I think Blake came to the same conclusion so he asked me to wait a few days so that we could be fully prepared, with enough materials and possibly needed skills like hacking.

The next few days I spent practising hand to hand with Blake who was trained in National Service as all guys do, in the art. I also found out that I was particularly natural at throwing daggers. Hacking was a bit hard to grasp at first, but I learned things like stealing a car easily enough. It would be an enormous challenge to go back there and I was not sure if it was right to kill him when he seemed so alive still.  

Blake became attached those days, trying to spend all his time with me. The danger ahead of us was worrying him a lot more than me. To him, he had someone to lose which was me. But for me. I did not care for my safety particularly and although I had some concerns for Blake’s, I knew he could handle himself.

On the night before we would set off, Blake surprised me. He brought me next door to the Kallang Leisure Park, FilmGarde to watch a movie. The mall was quite sealed up so we were safe from zombies. I suggested that the group move into the mall but Blake said that the group was feeling quite comfortable with living outdoors at the stadium.

We watched “Divergent”. It was so nice for once to go into a fantasy world and imagine a better place, especially with Blake snuggled next to me. When the movie ended, I kissed him. Usually, he was the one who would initiate the kisses but I wanted to thank him and show him how much I loved him. I never actually said the words as our relationship was moving way too fast. We had only known each other for a couple of months.

“Promise me, that you will kill me if I ever turn into one of those things” I said in between our hurried kisses. He pulled back with a pained expression on his place. “Don’t say such things” he whispered. “Please” He nodded reluctantly. Then, he pulled me back against him and continued to kiss me. We started to lose control, trying to touch each other everywhere. He lowered me onto the sofa and laid on top of me. “I love you” He mumbled against my lips. I froze and felt some tears gathering behind my eyes. “I love you too” He smiled and we used our bodies to show our feelings for each other that night.