Awake (a bondi rescue fan fic)

The End (Part 1)

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Hey People, so this is one of the last parts of the story and involves suicide, if you don't like reading anything like that then I would recommend clicking off this story. There is a warning for when it all begins but is close to the start, you have been warned.

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Hurt, that's all I can think of, the pain in my chest and the rest of my body, screams, screaming of myself telling him to stop, regret, the regret I feel of ever defending him, loss, all the people I have lost because of him, I can hear him, he is always there, no one can get rid of his voice, taunting, taunting me that he is coming, relief, the relief I felt when I got out of that house, questions, all the questions I get about the scars along my back, safety, I finally feel safe with the boys arms wrapped around me as I shake and cry in his arms about my past. Tough, the word I hear most when I tell people about my past. Why, why is an answer that I tell myself. When, when will I be able to forget that part in my life, panic, I still panic every day when I look at my body, what, what is wrong with me I have asked the doctors, all they say is PTSD. Ideas, ideas that will help me get through my life after everything, end, I want to end it all, have no more scars on my body, life, people say life is the strongest part of your sole, but for me, its friends, my friends who have helped me get though the panic attacks and nightmares.

Its been about a year and a half since I have left him, I have had the support of my friends, all the lifeguards. Yet, they cannot save me from this black hole I have fallen into, I have seen the looks on their faces they pull someone out of the water that has committed suicide, I have watched as they save children's lives. They cannot save me, I am gone too far, they have tried to help, and I am grateful, they saved me and pulled me close when no other people would. He knows where I am, he is coming for me now. I want to end it while my life is the best it ever was.

SUICIDE NOTE: AND THE SUICIDE

To the Bondi Lifeguards,

I don't even know where to begin, you all saved me and welcomed me onto the team with open arms. I want to say thank you for giving me the best year and a half I could ever ask for. I wish there was more I could do to repay you all, but alas. I couldn't come up with anything. To the men/boys... that made me laugh the most when we were on sift together (you know who I mean) thank you for making me smile everyday for those 12 hours. I will miss you, but I will be happier and knowing that I lived before I didn't was to the help of you all.

To Harrison,

Did you know I felt the closest with you, you made my life full for that little longer I had. You made me laugh with those goofy faces you make behind the others backs, they think we are crazy, but I have herd them call us two peas in a pod, I need to be honest with you. I have had a crush on you since you stayed the night with me after that horrific nightmare I had, you never even asked what it had been about, but just comforted me till I fell asleep in your arms. I love you more than you know, thank you for that little extra time you gave me.

To Bruce Hopkins aka, Hoppo,

I have no clue where to start with you. You were my father that I never had, from the time that I met you on the beach in Southern Australia to the moment I stepped foot on your turf of Bondi Beach, I saw you as more of a father than my father ever was. Do not blame yourself as I know that's what you will do, I chose this for myself as it's the best choice for me. You made me laugh more than I ever laughed with someone in my past, you know more of what went on than any of the other boys, yes, that includes Dee. I love you and couldn't ask for a better father figure. I will miss you and always be there for you, no matter what.

Dean aka, Dee,

I have no clue where to start. I love you, you were more than my best friend, you and your family welcomed me into your home with open arms and that made me feel like I had a family once again, you weren't even angry that I didn't talk to you in nearly four years because of what happened, truth is I only made it through that part of my life was because of you, I thought about you every second of every day till I saw you once again. I know you just like Hop are going to blame yourself, once again it is not your fault, I made this decision with my own mind and no one had an influence apart from the ex.

My Ex had found me again and I didn't want to get sucked back into that life all over again, I love you all, I would go to the ends of the earth and further for you all. Love you,

Luna Jankason, X

There we have it, I slowly sneak out of the house before Dee wakes up to go on shift, I jog down to Hoppo's office and make sure there was no one inside, I know that hop will go and help the boys set the beach up for the day before going to his office to do some paper work, I make sure once again that no one is around before jogging up the hill to the cliff that the gold course is on. It is such lovely view and the surf is absolutely smashing the cliff face, there is such a low chance of someone getting to me before I drown that I sit on the edge and watch the sun rise, people are use to me sitting here in the early morning that the usual joggers just jog by, but, if they looked close enough they would be able to see the silent tears streaming down my face. The sun is now up and I look down towards the beach, they had finished setting up the beach now and I can faintly see Hoppo walking to his office, not long now till he looks at the note, and I was right, about five mins later he races out of his office and looks up towards where I am, once he notices that I'm here he calls into his radio and they all start to race towards me. Before there could make it even ten meters I stand and go to the edge. I hear my name get called and look over my shoulder to see Jesse who seems to be having a jog and saw what was happening. Before he could even make it a step closer I jump, I hear the sound of the wind whistling in my ears with my hair flapping in every direction, I hear the sound of the waves coming closer, and closer, until, all I hear is nothing, I feel a large sharp rock then everything goes black.

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There you have it everyone, I will write another part with the reactions of everyone, once again sorry for ending the story like this but I had no inspiration and didn't want to continue

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