thank u, next - billie eilish

ghostin

"and i'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to.
admit that it hurts you."

"please don't cry princess." rosa comforted me. i told her what had happened with billie, about the hickies and everything. "well good you didn't do anything, she probably has like, aids or something." she laughed trying to lighten up the mood.

rosa hated when i cried, especially over billie. something i found myself doing alot lately. i just loved her and...i don't even know why. i guess i believe she's different. or atleast believed she was.

"i just..." i choked up and broke down again. rosa rubbed my back and comforted me the entire night.

—

i woke up feeling drained but it was probably because of all the crying i did last night. i was in rosa's bed and her oversized hoodie and the smell of pancakes attacked my nose.

the sunlight peeked through the window of rosa's room and shone over the white bed sheets. i felt peaceful.

i got out of the covers and slowly walked down the stairs to see rosa in a tube top and joggers. she was cutting up some strawberries and putting them on top of pancakes.

i snuck up behind her snaking my arms around her waist and embracing her. "mooorniing." i grinned. "well someone's in a better mood." she giggled kissing my forehead.

"mmhmm." i smiled, sitting on the stool at the kitchen island. she sat a plate of pancakes in front of me and poured me some orange juice. she knew me and food weren't the best of friends so she didn't pressure me to eat.

"slow down princess." she laughed as i tried to stuff an entire pancake in my mouth. this was my 3rd plate and i still didn't feel full.

i felt sick. really sick.

"n-now i'm gonna get fat." i cried. "no no baby you're beautiful." rosa ran over to me, hugging me tightly and kissing my forehead. we stayed like this until she checked the time.

"it's time to go to school." she spoke sadly. we both got ready and got in her car to head to school. she held onto my hand and looked over at me.

"y/n, if alexis or billie try something today, please tell me. i care about you so much." she said sweetly kissing my hand. i looked over at her and nod sweetly.

we arrived at the school and went our separate ways. i decided not to go to my locker today since i already had everything i needed for my classes.

i just went to the library to finish my work. its not like the teachers notice or care if i'm not in class. i sat in my usual corner and relaxed until i felt a presence next to me.

"billie, what do you want now?" my posture shifted and memories of what she did to me resurfaced. i grew a little scared.

she just sat there not saying anything for a while.

"i wanna try something with you y/n."

+

yo give me some song suggestions. i'll literally listen to anything.