Chapter Eight

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Cody's POV

Jen was still asleep so I decided it was the perfect time to talk to Chris. I knew Jen left last night, I just didn't make a big deal about it cause I knew Jen wouldn't want that. I walk downstairs and Chris and Hannah are awake talking with Jen's mom.

"Hey, Chris can I talk with you for a sec?" I ask him while gesturing for him to come into the kitchen.

"Yeah man what's up?" He asks.

"Did you see Jen leave last night?" I ask.

"No way?" He asks.

"Because she did and she was gone for about three hours," I reply.

"Oh wow, well at least she is home and safe that's all that matters." He replies.

"But I think it's important that we try to find out where she went," I reply.

"Dude I'm sorry but you need to back off Jen, your acting like a stalker, your not her parent, you don't need to know where she is 24/7" Chris replies with annoyance.

"Chris with the way that she's been shes not in a good mindset, she could get herself hurt out there," I reply defensively.

"Bro, if you want to know so badly why don't you just ask her. If you want to be her personal bodyguard I don't care but don't get me involved, cause understand if Jen found out how you've been practically stalking her she's going to be pissed." Chris says as he walks back into the living room.

I decided to walk outside and get some air. I just don't understand. I don't feel like Chris cares about Jen that much.

I hear the back door open behind me to see Hannah.

"Having troubles?" She asks.

"Yes, yes I am," I say angrily.

"What's wrong?" Hannah asks.

"I'm so fucking worried about Jen, and Chris doesn't even seem like he cares," I reply.

"Chris just doesn't like getting involved with intense stuff, it's too much for him," Hannah replies.

"Why won't Jen tell me things? She keeps so many damn secrets. Most of her secrets are hurting her. She needs to tell me things so I can help her." I reply.

"She's terrified of hurting you Cody, plus she thinks you will think of her differently if she told you a lot of things. She will tell you when she's ready. For now, you need to be less of a protector and just be her friend. That's what she really needs right now." Hannah replies.

"I just need her to believe and trust in me Hannah. That's all I need." I reply.

"She will Cody but in time you have to be patient. Now, that's go inside, Jens mom has made us breakfast.

Jens POV

I wake up to hear chatting downstairs. I walk down to the kitchen to see Cody, Chris, Hannah, and my mom at the table eating breakfast.

"Goodmorning Jen there's a plate of pancakes on the counter for you." My mom says.

"Thank you," I reply as I grab my plate and sit down at the table.

I've never been more grateful for my mother then I am now. I'm glad she likes my friends and she takes care of me the best I can. I'm so happy my dad wasn't around to ruin this moment.

I felt like shit physically despite everything. It's not like I was being kind to my body.

"Oh, shit school," I say randomly surprised.

"Chill Jen its Saturday," Chris replies.

"Oh," I reply.

The days have just been blending together that I've been forgetting what day is what. I don't even remember the last time I went to school. Probably a good thing since I don't need to deal with Kyle right now. Once we were all done with breakfast I stood in my mom's bedroom doorway as she got dressed for work.

"I'm sorry but I have to go to work but I can chat with you when I get home." She replies.

"I know I just wish you didn't have to work so much," I reply.

"Me and you both hun." She replies as she hugs me and rushes out the front door.

I watch out the window as she climbs in the car and heads down the road.

"I'm sorry you can't spend more time with your mom," Chris says from the couch.

"It's fine I reply, she has to work a lot in able for us to move" I reply.

Cody and Hannah were chatting upstairs while Chris and I were downstairs.

"So Cody talked with me this morning, he said you went somewhere last night and that you were gone for a while," Chris says.

"So, I don't need his permission to leave," I reply.

"I know, he's just worried about you." He replies

"Things would be so easy if people just stopped caring," I reply.

"But if no one cared you wouldn't be here right now," Chris replies.

"That's not a bad thing," I reply.

As Chris was about to reply Cody and Hannah walked into the living room.

"Did your mom leave?" Cody asks.

"Yes, a couple minutes ago, I need to go somewhere so you guys can hang out here if you want or go home it's up to you," I reply.

"I'll come with you," Cody replies.

"I'm going alone, Cody," I reply

I could tell Cody didn't like my response but he accepted it. Everyone decided to head home. I'm feeling so very suicidal today. So I decided to avoid those feelings with booze and cutting. I headed down the road towards the abandoned construction site. I stopped by the liquor store then headed to the site. I hid in one of the giant pipes and I couldn't even cry. Everything I was doing felt so meaningless. I felt so awful for allowing my friends to see the bad side of me. Everything was so good when no one knew about my issues. I chugged down the bottle. Then I pulled out my razor blade from my back pocket. I cut my arms to ribbons. I promised myself to never cut while drunk again but obviously, that didn't work out. Within minutes I blacked out.

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