2 a.m.

Escape

How do people expect me to forget,
the horrific things that you did to my
body
mind
and soul?
I am trying,
I truly am,
and someday I won't be afraid to fall asleep when no one else is awake.
Someday I'll be able to sleep through the night,
peacefully,
next to the person I love.
But for now,
I lie awake,
as I am filled with the haunting fear that no one else will be around to tell me it was just a dream,
when I inevitably wake up again,
screaming,
from a dream about your unforgiving hands
on my innocent bones,
and my shaking pale skin,
taking away everything that belonged to me.
Taking from me,
everything in my world,
that wasn't yours.
Why does everyone,
expect me to escape from these thoughts entirely,
to throw these memories into the ocean,
and to let them drown,
and rot
and decay
until they are nothing,
when my own body,
for which I am unable to escape or replace,
was the crime scene.

February 10th, 2019