(Brendons POV)
Two more days. We had two more shows left and tour would be over. It's crazy to think about really. So much has happened, it's so wild to even try and comprehend it. For probably the first time in my life, I wanted it to be over already. Genuinely. I just wanted to go home, and cry into my pillow for the rest of my life. I felt like shit ever since what happened, 5? Days ago. Probably longer, but honestly who's keeping track? Not me that's for sure. Not only was I extremely sad, and guilty, I was heartbroken. Dallon wouldn't even look at me. I couldn't explain to him how I didn't regret it and how I want to be with him. Anyone I approached him I got the same response. "I get it Brendon. I understand." And he'll walk away.
I get it, I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anyone. If he himself wasn't so sad, I'd give up. He clearly is hurt over this too though. During this mess we managed to get a new guitarist, Mike Naran. I feel so bad for him, he joined and now has no clue why the bassist and lead vocalist won't speak, and why there's so much tension while all of us are on that stage. He has absolutely no clue. We don't want him to have a clue either. He's a nice guy, he seems to be getting along quite nicely with everyone. He fits in great. Shouldn't drag him into something already over and done with. Or maybe he does know. Maybe Zack or Dan explained and I just dont pay attention enough anymore to notice. I recall him and Dan talking and I remember him asking of I was okay because I seemed really out of it and sad. The dude doesn't even know me well and he cares about me. I wish he was here all along instead of Kenny.
When we went onstage tonight I tried to be a bit more hyper. I think people are starting to notice how unhappy I am. I wouldn't know, I haven't been on social media for such a long time. I remember catching Dallons eye sometime during the show and I smiled at him. Yet he only softly smiled and looked away, and I watched as his face fell again. I want him to know that I'm okay with him, that I, I like him a lot. My feelings never went away and I sure as hell don't regret anything. I started walking over to him, still singing into my microphone. He immediately noticed and a look of confusion washes over his features. I'm gonna fix this. I could hear people yelling once they noticed me walking over to Dallon, probably knowing I'm gonna pull some gay shit. They'd stand correct.
I stop right I'm front of him, locking my gaze with his. I run my free hand down his chest, and I feel him lean into my touch, causing me to smirk. I run my thumb over his lips, and lean into his ear. "I still don't regret it." I whisper, and as if to "confirm" that, I grab his ass before walking away. My heart was pounding in my chest but I played it cool as I walked away. I can feel him staring after me, and I look over at Mike, knowing damn well he saw. He was laughing, a bright smile on his face. Nice to know he's not homophobic. I smile back at him, and the rest of the show, I was genuinely happy. I hope Dallon and I are on good terms now. I jumped around, yelled a bit, and genuinely had a good time. The crowd seemed to appreciate it.
When we got off stage, I decided not to approach Dallon. I don't want to overwhelm him, and for all I know he might be upset at me still. I pull my shirt off, sweaty and worn out from the show, running my hands over my face. "We did a hell of a good job out there, guys. It was a good one." I say walking into the dressing room. "You're in a good mood." Zach states and I smile and chuckle, glancing at Dallon and nodding. "I guess I am, yeah." I say and run my fingers through my damp hair. Gross, I definitely needed a shower. Dallon kinda just stared at me, and I wanted to say something to him, but I had a feeling he was mad at me still. If he wasn't he would've said something by now, right? I don't know. Maybe I'm just letting my anxiety get to me.
"What you guys did out there was funny, got the crowd going." Mike says and I nod. "I meant it." I say while shrugging and Dallon stands up, causing me to look at him. "You didn't mean shit Brendon." He says and I look at him confused. "Yes I did, what're you on about?" I ask and he scoffs. "You regretted everything between then all of a sudden you try and act like nothing happened." Dallon says, his eyes glossing over with tears. "I never regretted anything Dallon, you assumed I did and didn't let me explain." I say, hurt filling my chest. "Doesn't matter for all I know you'd go and cheat on me just like you did with Sarah." He says coldly, harshly wiping at his eyes. My heart shattered. Is he being serious right now? "I ri-risked everything for you Dallon." I say my voice straining. "Yeah?" He says and I nod. "I did and you know damn straight I did!" I say and he looks away from me.
