Peter Parker One-Shots

Sleepover (Part One)

Peter is the biological son of Tony and his mother. ( his mother being Peter's mother, of course. )
Stony
Spideypool
Bucky x Clint
Bully Flash
Wade is 17, Peter is the same age.
~~~
Peter was already having a horrible day. An overnight trip! He was gonna forget his earphones and glasses for sure! If that wasn't bad enough, Mr. Green called him back " I'm so sorry, Mr. Parker, but you don't have the needed attendance to attend. Instead, and I'd never say this to any other student, how about you just stay home on Friday? " Peter sighed, nodding " I understand, Mr. Green. Have fun on the trip though. "

He stood up, walking to his locker. Flash shoved him against it " Good thing I told my mom to put a needed attendance on the field trip, huh Penis? To bad you can't go. Oh wait, that's a great thing. " Peter sighed, and pushed past Flash to the entrance where Happy was waiting. " Hey, kid. " When Peter didn't start talking about his day like usual, Happy frowned " What's wrong, kid? "

" I can't go on some stupid field trip just because I don't have a good enough stupid attendance. " Peter pulled out his homework, beginning to do it.

~~This is Barley, he says hi.~~~
Right as Peter finished the last problem, the car stopped. Peter said goodbye to Happy and ran out, seeing a new receptionist. He walked to the security, the new boy calling out " Sir! Your not allowed to go in there! You need a pass! "

He turned, his grin widening " Last time I checked, the personal intern of Tony Stark-Rodgers didn't need a pass. "
The receptionist scoffed " Yeah right, kid. Security! "
Two security guards walked over, looking confused " Why do you want us to remove Mr. Parker? "
Peter laughed, and went to the private elevator, FRIDAY taking him up to the Avengers floor.

Inside was hell.
Bucky was trying to get cookies out of the oven without Tony jumping him and stealing all the cookies, Clint was shooting Loki with arrows fillies with glitter, all of them missing and creating a huge mess, Thor was screaming something about poptarts, and Steve and Natasha just sat there meditating.

Peter laughed and pulled Tony away from the oven, Bucky sighing in relief " Thank you, Mini-Stark. " and put the cookies in a jar, on top on the fridge. Tony, who was too short to reach them, whined.

Peter rolled his eyes, and walked to his room. Natasha spotting him before he got there " Hi, Peter, Ned called me and told us about the field trip. Are you able to go? " He shook his head " That's too bad. " She smirked. " Your the breaking choice of dinner. Pizza or Chinese food? "

"Chineese food, please! " He went to his room then, and continued working on a project for school
~~~Friday timeskip~~~
Peter woke up, taking a shower and getting dressed. Not bothering to even try combing his hair, he went to the kitchen and got five of the oatmeal cookies Bucky made, eating three of them and saving the other two for later. Taking the elevator down to the first floor, one of the interns, Cash, ran up to him

" Peter! If it's not to much trouble, can you please take over my job as tour guide for a school that just came in? Jackie broke her arm and I wanna check on her. " Peter simply agreed, and walked to the lobby, texting Wade about their date later tonight, if he looked up, he probably would of screamed.

Eventually he did, and he yelped. Mr. Green and his entire class was staring at him. The teacher frowned " Peter, what are you doing here? "

"M-My I-Internship. " Peter stuttered out. Mr. Green sighing " This lie has gone on long enough, Mr. Parker. You'll sit on the bus for the trip. " Peter flinched, his favorite teacher didn't believe him. Cash ran up, and handed Peter a cup of the passes.

Mr. Green came up " Excuse me, sir. Is this man bothering you? He my student and shouldn't be here so I'll take him back to the bus. " Cash looked confused, and then realized, burst out laughing " Oh my god! This is priceless! Sir, Peter offered to take my place as tour guide since my sister broke her arm. " Mr. Green went red " Oh my, I'm sorry Peter. Class! "

He caught the attention if the class " I'd like to apologize to Peter here, he indeed works here, and will be our tour guide. Please listen to him. Yes, Flash. That includes you. "

Peter chuckled, and began the tour by handing out the passes. A girl, Mackenzie, asked what the numbers are " We have a ranking of one out of ten, you all are level one because your visitors, Ned is a level nine because he assists Dr. Banner. Any more questions? "
Flash called out " What rank are you, a zero? " Peter smiled " I'm a ten because I'm Mr. Stark-Roger's personal intern. "
He continued on with the tour, explaining everything when a certain boy in red and black dropped down "HELLO BEAUTIFUL!"

Peter rolled his eyes " Hi, Wade. " Someone yelped " Holy shit! That's Deadpool! He kills people for money! "
The merc with a mouth finger gunned them " I'm on a six month streak of no unaliving people thanks to this beautiful muffin. "

Someone else responded " 'Beautiful?' ' muffin?' Peter, are you dating Deadpool? Flash scrunched his nose " Ew, your dating Penis Parker? " Wade's face darkened " Baby boy, can I unalive him just a little? "

"No, you can't kill him. "

" If I shove a katana into his stomach I can! "

"No"

" Only for you, Baby boy. " Wade kissed his cheek. Peter rolling his eyes with a smile, and took the class to the higher-up labs. In the hall, something was making noise from the vents. Peter sighed as Clint fell down from the vents.

"Peter! My big old nerd! " Bucky fell out, almost landing on his face if Clint hadn't caught him, kissing the shorter boy's cheek. "Heyo, Clint, Hi, Bucky. " Clint glanced at the class " Peter, my main man, why do you have children with you? "

The teenager groaned " Its my class, our field trip was here. " Clint nodded " How lame, to tour your own house. Me and Buckster have to go. Bye! " He jumped back into the vent, Bucky turning to Peter before following his fiance up the vents " Oh, I'm making spaghetti for dinner. " and then left.

Peter had the entire class scan their passes, then overrided it with his own pass " Dont touch anything in here, Dr. Banner hates it when people without permission touch- " He was cut off by Flash clicking on a part of a project for ways to calm Hulk down " What does this do? "

Peter yelped, " PUT IT DOWN! " Flash jumped and dragged it to the trash, looking at him with a fake horrified face. Peter and Ned shoved past him, and began typing frantically, trying to rebuild it.

Bruce chose that minute to walk in, holding a cup of coffee. He raised an eyebrow " Peter, Ned, what are you doing? "

" That idiot decided to drag part of your project to the trash, there! We finished, we didn't remember all of it, so had to make up most of it. "

" HOW THE HELL DOES PENIS PARKER KNOW SO MANY AVENGERS? " Flash shouted, Bruce turning, his veins going slightly green. The few interns in the room ducked under their desk, not wanting to be part of this in case Hulk took over. "Uncle Bruce! It's fine, just ignore him! " Bruce fixed him with a state saying 'we'll talk about it later. '

Peter turned to the class, who were staring at him in shock. " So! Let's go to lunch, there is pizza today! " He led them to the cafeteria.
~~~
Peter, MJ, and Ned sat at a table, well, Peter sat in Wade's lap, the merc tapping Peter's sides. Steve and Tony decided to drop in at that moment

"I swear, for the last time. I'm doing it! " Tony
"Ask the kid if he wants it first! You can't do whatever you want! "
"Fuck you, I'm Tony Rogers-Stark, I do what I want. "
Peter groaned, after touring a few more labs he took the class up to the 99th floor, the 100th for Peter, Tony, and Steve only.

Peter opened the door, sighing. Loki was choking Thor as a snake, Bucky and Clint making out on the couch, Tony helping Steve paint, only getting paint everywhere, and Natasha was yelling at everyone.

"Guys! " Peter shouted. All the overgrown children froze and look over, except for Bucky and Clint, who moved to their bedroom. Tony walked forward, pushing on his sunglasses

"Hello, kiddos. You like pizza?"