school shooter { jayson }

-14-

Trouble by Omar Apollo            +warn warn trigger, use of guns and razors+
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I lay on my bed, a pillow covering my wet face.

My cries are loud and heavy, I'm using the pillow to muffle out my cries.

Though everyone's out the house, i still want to be safe.

I get up and open my journal.

People to kill=
•Alex, definitely
•Shawn, dont kill, but..hurt?
•Garret, don't shoot, but... scare
•Kevin..kill...definitely
•Ethan...*erased*
• me

Where to get gun=
Dad..dad has a gun in office..get gun, bring to school :) *crossed out*

Where to put gun=
Ummm, book bag?

When to shoot=
Maybe in the morning but..now that I think about it..no..shoot when everyone is gathered at lunch

Mercy?=
Only to those who never hurt me like the rest..I will not kill anyone who is innocent..

James=
Tell him I actually love him *erased*
•make sure he's not in the cafeteria
•make sure he's safe from all harm
•tell him I love him fr fr *erased*

Tear droplets fall from my face to the paper, I slam the book shut and throw it across the room, I pull at my hair and open the bathroom door.

I shut it and lock the door, I open the cabinets and pull out the sharp razor I had used before.

I place the razor above my wrist, the healing scars lay above my skin in zagged, uneven lines.

I push it deep, deeper than I ever have, it stings for awhile but then I forget about the pain and it fills with relief.

Blood pours from my poor, beaten up wrist.

I put the razor back and grab toilet paper and bandaids.

I clean the cut up and put the bandage on, I wipe the sink down with wet toilet paper, the blood droplets disappearing like nothing ever happened.

I open the bathroom door and walk to my closet, I grab the gun and look at in, I move it around in my hands and walk in front of the mirror.

(stole this part from the 1-800 song by logic)

I bring the gun to my head and look at myself.

My eyes are tired and dark, the bags under my eyes are disgusting.

Tear streaks cover my ugly face making me even more mad, my reflection get angrier and angrier at me.

I point the gun to the mirror straight at my body, then I slide onto the floor, my ugly sobs can be heard from miles.

My weak hands bring the gun back up to my head.

I could end it right here, right here.

But I can't.

Tomorrow it's happening.

The plan is going through fucking tomorrow and no ones gonna stop me.
•-•-•
Heheheheheh boom -3-
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