𝓣𝔀𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓟𝓮𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓼 ☑ [UNDER EDITING]

¢нєѕт ραιиѕ

H/l = hair length
Y/n = Your name

Song: Scared to be lonely—Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa

Edited 5/20/19

⚠️please play the song above

➶➶➶➶➶ . ➷➷➷➷➷

➶➶➶➶➶ . ➷➷➷➷➷
Y/n POV

It was raining today. Normally I would love the rain. I sat on the cushion of the window bench and stared outside at the rain. But now the rain brings me sorrow and gave me memories of the time when Kusuo and I were kids when we would jump around in the puddles. I chuckle at the memory because I wasn't  watching where I was going and fell flat on my face.

My thoughts were cut short and I violently started to cough. I clenched my hand over my mouth and booked it to the bathroom. I thought it was going to throw up vomit like a normal person, but instead it was a flower petal. Well more like flower petals as in several were littered all in the toilet bowl. My eyes widened at it, I knew exactly what it was.

Hanahaki

I began to cry, tears start to roll down my face like a waterfall. "No no no no this can't be happening!" I began to shake and shudder violently by breathing became hitched and uneasy. I grabbed my h/l hair and pulled it so hard to the point where I believe it would've just ripped out of my scalp. I was having a panic attack. I shakily reach for the toilet handle and flush it. My Scarlet Macaw flies to where I am and perches on my knee and runs his beak against my cheek and immediately relaxes me. Kusuo thought I got him just for the sake of having someone besides myself in the house, but really he was a support animal. "Hey Ryan did I worry you? I'm sorry, but thanks for being here with me." I smile as Ryan squawking back at me. "Let me get you on treats come fly into my shoulder."

Ryan was quick to fly and rest onto my shoulder and I walked to my kitchen to get him a bird treat. I open the pantry and grab the bird treats and Ryan flys over to the counter. "Stop bobbing your head up and down like that you're going to get a headache." I giggle at his actions. "Are you ready?"

"REEEE"

I throw one treat up into the air and Ryan flys up and eats it. "Try and get this one." I throw it towards the sink and Ryan Olympic dives towards it and eats it. Ryan then flew back to me and rested himself on my arm. I pat his head and hand him one more treat. "Okay no more for you. That's enough for today." Ryan responded with a wonderful ear bleeding screech.

"Do you want to go back to your cage?" I dead look at him. Ryan shut up real quick and flew over to my shoulder. I went back to the windowsill and watch the rain fall down. Ryan eventually flew somewhere else in the house leaving me to my thoughts.

I thought about Kusuo and his pink locks, his defined chin, his weird but cute personality, and the way he eats coffee jelly. I envy that coffee jelly because I wish he would look at me the way he looked at that jelly. Every time I think of him the pain in my chest tightens. I feel the thorns piercing me and I begin the cough violently.

I coughed up a few petals that were covered in blood. It hurts, but I don't want to lose these feelings. No I refuse to lose these feelings. I'll keep them till the day the sun sets on me. Having this happiness with Kusuo is better than being rid of them. I don't think I would treat him the same if I were to just be rid of them and that would be unfair to him. Damn I didn't even gets to hit 20 yet, oh well it's not like I had the money for surgery anyways.

I feel myself start to cry again. 'No Y/n stop you might not be prepared to die, but you're just going to have to deal with it.' I thought to myself as I wiped my tears.

I can feel the vines spreading around my lungs and clawing their way up my throat and the thorns digging into my flesh, shortening my breath and I start cough again. More petals fly out f my mouth along with a small trail of blood down my chin. I wipe my chin with my sleeve and continue to stare out the window.

'I guess I better enjoy these days' I thought to myself.