Does he really like me or he's just using me?
I really don't wanna be used by the first boy I've actually liked.
And if he does actually like me and we do date I just don't wanna be so clueless to the relationship because I know nothing about relationships, but the basic stuff.
I really like him and I just dont wanna mess anything up with him that might make him lose interest in me because I'm boring and I know nothing I just wanna make him happy, cause I know that he makes me happy.
I just stared at the ceiling not thinking about anything but harry
"What are you thinking about" he said and his voice was so low from his little small nap .
I didn't look at him yet . "Nothing"I mumbled running my hand through his hair.
He grabbed my hand and kissed me palm. Hes so sweet.
"I wanna be your first boyfriend" he mumbled and my eyes widen.
Whaaa??!
"Y-you do" I stutter still shocked. He wants me?!
What howww I'm s ugly and I know nothing about relationships, hes gonna hate it.
"Yeah of course I do. Your so special to me" he said lifting his head to look at me but I was looking.
He got up and pulled me on his lap.
He cupped my cheeks in his hands softly and kissed my lips.
"I love you" he whispered and I kissed him "I love you too" I said and gave him a soft smile.
"Your so pretty" I smiled caressing his cheek.
He smiled, and shook his head.
"You are , do you look in the mirror"I asked trying to fight my smile and he shook his head no once again.
"No" he smiled and I laughed "hehe cause you know you have good looks"I smiled at him and his smile faded.
Mine did too did I do something?
"Are you okay" I asked looking into his eyes but he looked down.
I put my hand his cheek and he moved his head
"I-im sorry" I said backing away from him on the bed giving his some space.
I obviously did something to him I probably should give him space.
"d-do you wanna talk a-about it" I asked and he shook his head.
"I should probably go"he said and my eyes widen nonono.
"What? Why" I asked and he got up.
And I did too I wrapped my arms around his waist (Ik).
"I'm sorry I didn't m-mean to call you pretty or if I did something else that upset you " I whined.
He shook his head "not about that" (ik) he said and his voice was low.
And I loved his accent.
I nodded and let go of him and sat down on my bed looking down.
"Y-you can go" I said and hoping he would say no and stay here.
I started breathing hard I bit my lip to stop me from crying then they started pouring out.
"Why are you mad at me" I sobbed and he came over and hugged me .
"I'm not mad at you... I'm mad at the fact that I can't have you. Your too good for me . Your wayy too good for me haylen. You deserve better and i don't think I'm better" he said pacing around my room.
"N-no ..I only want you , y-your good enough f-for me I promise" I said wiping my tears but more came.
"W-why do you t-think like that" I hiccuped, and put my hair in the bun.
"What do you mean why do I think like that look at you ! Your so Fucking beautiful anybody could steal you from me and plus it's illegal to date you. I want you so bad trust me we just cant" he raised his voice and I got up and got on my knees in front of him.
"What are you doing" he said trying to back up but i wrapped my arms around one of his legs (ik) I pushed his BB shorts up (ik) and I kissed his leg three times .
"I-i wanna show you, that your enough" I mumbled on his leg.
My heart was beating hard and I was really nervous even though this would be my second time doing it I'm still kinda scared.
"No, no get up" he said gustering me with his hands(ik) .
I shook my head and started running my hand over his hard on that would form any minute now.
"Stop haylen get up" he said and I shook my head so he grabbed my arms by my armpit and pulled me to my feet.
"I-i wanna show you!" I said harshly .
"No haylen , that's not what I wanna do I don't want our so called relationship to be about sex we need to talk it out" he said and I shook my head (ik)
"D-dont leave please" I cried and he wiped my tears and kissed my forehead.
I layed my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me .
I felt safe. But once again hes leaving.
"Im not leaving I'm just really upset" he mumbled in my hair.
And I nodded.
"It's gonna be okay" I looked up at him and smiled he smiled and kissed my lips.
"I love you" I said and he kissed me again but longer
"I love you" he said and I smiled and just stared at him.
"What" he asked and I shook my head.
"I don't wanna upset you even more" I mumbled and walked over to my bed and jumped on it.
"No baby just tell me" he said and sat next to me.
"Promise me you won't get mad" I said holding out my pinky and he gladly except it and linked his with mine.
"I promise" he whispered.
"Your pretty" I said and he smiled and shook his head and pulled me on him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed under his ear cause I remember from the first time we kissed he like it.
He groned and held on to me tighter.
"I want you so bad" he mumbled and I looked at him.
"What do you mean" I asked pulling his had outta his mouth from biting his nails.
Seems like a habit of his
"Like to be mine I want you ..Its...just illegal" he said looking into my eyes with his bright green eyes.
I nodded hes right.
We can't be together even if we wanted to it's illegal he could get in trouble.
"C-can we secretly date" I asked him and he sighed
So I removed my hands from him and tried to get off his lap but he held onto me.
"We'd get caught haylen. I wanna be in public with you I wanna show everyone that your mine I can't do that when were secretly dating . i don't want people knowing haylen it won't work it's illegal" he said and my heart sank a little.
I looked down and bit my lip...
"I-i guess" I mumbled and got outta his grip and walked to the bathroom.
"So much for wanting to be my first boyfriend" I mumbled to myself.
I turned on the shower and walked back out to grab my clothes from my dresser.
And walked back into the bathroom.
I stripped from my clothes and got in letting the hot water relax my muscles.
I heard the bathroom door open.
