Smile {ironstrange}

Ch.5 chewed up bubblegum

Tony's POV
I slowly woke up from my sleep. Last night me and Stephen went on a walk and gazed at the stars for so long. Stephen's kiss on my nose lingered from last night. He might've kissed my nose or whatever, but I'm pretty sure it meant nothing. I always wondered if anyone liked me. I'm pretty sure no one does anyways. I just had a feeling that Stephen was going to cut his wrists again and it swirled this guilty, regretful feeling in my gut. I went up to my bathroom and looked at the reflection is the mirror. I looked like a damn mess. Ah..fuck. I tried to brush the bird nest on my head and soothe it a little bit. I brushed my teeth and headed outside the bathroom. I flopped on my bed and let out a deep sigh. I checked my phone to see if I got any messages. There was one..from Stephen.
Stephen: thank you for walking with me tonight :) I really enjoyed it tony. Hope you had a great time.
I decided to reply back.
Tony: no problem :) I really enjoyed it too steph. Hope we could do it some other time too.
I turned off my phone and let out a deep breath. I didn't even see why people bothered to talk to garbage like me. I was as useless as chewed up bubblegum. People just used me and threw me away like that. One of those people was Steve. Steve and I use to be bestest friends back then but everything changed whenever he got a new friend Bucky and a girlfriend Sharon. By that time he just plain out started bullying and beating me up. I really hated him afterwards. Society really hated me didn't it? I got up from my already messy bed and got dressed. I needed to go buy groceries for my fridge. I didn't really eat that much since I'm always caught up with work but I just put some food in there so I can trick people into thinking I actually eat. After I got ready I headed downstairs and grabbed my keys. I opened the front door and locked it afterwards. I walked up to my plain old Ford. I drove all the way to the food market and parked. I opened the market's doors and got inside. With a cart in my hands I started looking for the food isle. After 22 minutes of trying to find affordable cheap food i went up to the cashier. Afterwards I got all of my bags and put the shopping cart in its place and headed outside. I filled my car trunk with the groceries I bought and closed it with a slam. I walked over to the drivers seat, opened the door, and got inside. After I arrived at my house I took out all the groceries from the car trunk and closed it. I unlocked my front door with my house keys and got inside. The smell of home-like air brushed my face. I took a deep breath in and exhaled. I put all the groceries on the dinner table and closed the door. After I finished stacking food in my fridge I jumped on the couch. I watched Netflix for a few hours before drifting off to sleep.
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Stephen's POV
I sat on my bed staring blankly at the text message tony sent me. I smiled at my phone and put it away. I wondered what tony was thinking about right now. I've already eaten dinner and payed all the bills for the month so there wasn't really much to do. I carefully pulled up the sleeve from my shirt and stared at the cuts from the razor I passed through my wrists. I sighed and started thinking about Tony's crying face. As much as it hurt me to see him cry I just felt like I needed to drown out the feelings from the past with something new. The bloody image in my head made me sick. A single tear dropped down my cheek. Soon enough a pool of tears were forming in my eyes. I'm so sorry tony. I wish I could turn back time. I really wish I could. I was an idiot to do such things knowing it would affect you. I carefully wiped the tears from my eyes trying not to move my wrist from the painful feeling i felt on it. I just felt like ending it all because of all the things that happened. I lost most of my family and i still lied I had parents. My mom meant so much to me. But I lost her in a fire when I was 8. I wanted to save her. It was too late. The image of her screaming to save myself from the intense fire she was standing in popped up in my head. I cried even harder. I remember her crying and sobbing and telling me she was going to be ok. She lied unfortunately. My dad left me and my mom whenever I was 5. I didn't really like that bastard anyways. Back when I was young he would always abuse my mom and drink a lot. I tried to stand up for her one day but instead I earned a hard painful slap to the face making me bleed. That night I hugged her and cried in my bed. I lost both my uncle and aunt in a car crash. I lived with my grandma until I got a house of my own. From there on I always celebrated my birthdays alone. I wasn't completely alone until for some reason all of a sudden I was popular in high school. I was like the school jock but like...less jockier. Whenever tony came around I just felt..less lonely. I don't know what came over me whenever I kissed his nose that night but it just felt right. Kissing another guy just felt right. I might've been gay or bi..I don't even fucking know. Tony made me feel things no other woman could've made me feel. He actually made me happy. And I'm pretty sure I messed it all up whenever I did the most idiotic decision cutting my wrists. Even after all my mistakes he was still there for me. And i was grateful for that. His smile made me smile. His eyes made me melt. His hair looks so soft. His height difference from mine made me laugh. Whenever he would stand on his tiptoes to grab something far up it would make me want to say awe. Basically everything about tony was perfect. His personality meant so much to me. I loved him.

A/N: :))))) *internally screeches* I love each and every one of YAS! Also happy Valentine's Day loves! If you don't have a valentine I'll be yours either way :) you have this burnt potato to spend your Valentine's Day with :)