Chapter 14

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After they arrived, Suigetsu went to tell Sasuke the news. Unfortunately, it was not what Sasuke expected. Hinata was not with them. His eyes saddened and the amount of disapointment could only be described by the faded look from his eyes.

Sasuke: "She is not here

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Sasuke: "She is not here.... of course she's not. Why would she be? For who? For someone like me? Why would she care about a murderer? Why would she forgive a liar and a villain? Why would she want to see the murderer of her family?!"

Pain started to grow behind his shoulder and he grabbed his head. All the negativity, the pain and the guilt were accentuating making Sasuke feel sick. His heart rate accelerated and he was breathing really fast.

Karin: "Oh my God... I never saw him like this."
Suigetsu: "There is it again. That anxiety attack. Just like he did when Orochimaru captured Hinata."

Suigetsu grabbed water and rushed near to Sasuke.

Suigetsu: "Sasuke, you have to calm down.  We found her! We talked with her!"

Sasuke tried to calm down, holding his chest with one hand and the other covering his mouth.

Suigetsu: "There. It's okay. She is in this town, so she is close." 
Sasuke: "What... did she say....?"

Suigetsu's eyes saddened.

Karin: "She listened to us but... she needs some time too... She kept the address, so that's a good sing, right?"
Suigetsu: "See? Now there is a matter a time. You have to keep fighting that seal and think about all the important things that you have to tell her, okay?"
Sasuke: "Is..it...really true?"
Suigetsu: "Yeah. Now stop with all this drama and get some rest will ya?"

Sasuke nodded and laid down. He sighed.

Karin and Suigetsu exit the room.

Suigetsu: "Now... it's just a matter of time." 
Karin: "What if... he turns?" 
Suigetsu: "I prefer not to think about that... but if the worse scenario happens, we have no choice then. We must kill him."

After few hours, Suigetsu walked around the house and saw that Sasuke was not sleeping. He decided to enter. He saw Sasuke sitting there, facing the ceiling.

Suigetsu: "Yo. I saw the light was still on."

Sasuke didn't said anything but looked at Suigetsu.

Suigetsu: "How are you keeping on? I can only imagine how you feel... You see...if Tsunade would've told me that I must forgive myself or else I'll die, I would fail at it. I am sure I would've been swallowed by the cursed seal by now... heheh"
He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head while saying that.

Sasuke: "Why?"
Suigetsu: "Even now... that Akatsuki is gone and Orochimaru is not there to threat me, I still can't just erase everything I've done while being a member. All the killing, al the torturing. I just can't understand why I had nothing against doing all those awful things before. They seemed that that was my only way of being, my only purpose. After I fell for Karin, I finally understood what peace meant, and I find it more precious than ever. I know what protecting someone important meant. But, I still can't just pretend that the past didn't happened. And sometimes I am at war with myself too... I hate being in that state. I just can't forgive myself for my past... I can only concentrate on my pure future that's not stained."

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