My 4th Drawing Book And Shiz

Binge watching and drinking my tears and Mt. Dew

In real life (not on social media) I just feel like the backup. I have meaning, but not as important as the original.

I'm not trying to sound selfish, I'm trying my best not to. But I just feel so useless until the actual important something is... you know.

I feel useless, but have a meaning at the same time.

I feel like a downgrade. There's always someone who's better than me, but trust me, I don't hate them. But I keep believing that I'll never be like them. I'll never be successful as they are. I'll never have friends, actual people who admire me and think I'm worthy of their time and actually prove it.

I still feel lonely. Even with people around me who know me. I still feel so lonely. I still feel empty. I still feel so meaningless even if people tell me that I matter.

Why can't I believe people for once?

I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm dumb. I'm very dumb.

I wonder if people actually care (people who I know)

Anyway, here are some weird stuff that I worked on

Also I'm dumb for writing soft instead of smooth. I even forgot that word existed while I was working on this.

Someone pointed this out and I slapped myself into another reality.

Also does any of you remember this lady

I redrew her and oof

Also I have a lil story to tell that happened on Thursday

We had an actual lockdown in school
On Valentines Day

Now that's just sad

But idk, I thought it was a drill for a moment but then I thought of running to my next class which is homeroom but a teacher told me to run the other way

And that's when I actually knew that it was indeed NOT a drill

I ran to a classroom, I had a mini panic attack but then I saw two of my classmates from PE and that honestly made me feel better

The rest of the students in the room were so noisy like for god's sake

A guy even tried cracking up a joke that wasn't that funny at all
Luckily nothing huge happened

Also I still feel so effin horrible