Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Yeah it's that son of a bih
Idk
Idk why I suddenly started going back on Wattpad but meh
Here I am
I'm obviously not gonna write anymore fan fictions
Maybe a few oneshots
But that's sorta it
Of course, maybe some vents
And that brings me to the conclusion that it's VENT TIME
Damn me
So I've been noticing that I've been really distancing myself lately
For the past 5 weeks, I barely ever say anything outside my home.
One time I've only said about 10 words in one day
It's amazing.
I also know pretty damn well that no one really cares.
The only time anyone has ever decided to stick with me is when I had a breakdown after my English class: the worst class. I've been told that my teacher has either decided to fail me for participation because I barely say a word out loud.
I don't know, it shattered me. It scared me. I know something like this doesn't bother anyone at all but it does to me. It broke me for some reason. She told me "I don't even know what your voice sounds like."
Each day I'm starting to believe that my existence doesn't matter to anyone. I've been shut out. Almost everyday. No one has ever listened to me.
I tried reaching out to someone on Instagram and they really helped. Some of their advice, I didn't follow. I don't know, I just felt like it wasn't right. But I thanked her. She brought me to the right path.
Lately, I've been feeling so left out. If someone in my class were to decide who's going to present or say something, it's definitely not going to me. I'm kinda glad but at the same time, upset. I don't feel like exist.
After telling myself that for so many times, I decided to really shut myself out. I never reached out to anyone, I never talked about any of my problems because no one would bother to care.
I can't see how saying "But we care about you" would be any help now. It's that situation where nothing can ever really help me after so many times of waiting.
Everything feels so useless now.
I can't see how I can ever matter, since I see how people agree.
Sometimes I feel like people are talking behind my back. It upsets me. Someone called me a certain name and I didn't really bother being upset, but it still hurt. I tried my best to ignore them. Others around that person, laughed. Sure, they brought awareness of how mean they were, but didn't have the consent of not making it seem like it was funny.
My habits are getting worse
I knew I should've done better to make people happy, but it struck me to realize that I can't even keep myself happy.
So I don't find any other reason why no one would care about me. Sometimes it makes me feel like everyone is treating me like I'm... an outsider. I never belonged.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I'm sorry I know all of you are so tired of reading my thoughts, you probably didn't even read everything. That's fine, tbh. My point is to just let everything out.
