ĐɆVłⱠ ₮Ø₩₦ (devil town) • frerard

i

it had been two weeks since frank had last showered. two and a half days since he had last eaten. and everything in his cupboard was empty or rotting. his apartment smelled of death. his eyes were gray. his clothes were gray. a sweatshirt. sweatpants. everything felt too cold for him. everything seemed like too much for him. and every waking moment felt like a moment closer to death. he didn't want to die. no, he didn't. maybe he did. but he felt as though he didn't. maybe he just wanted to rot away until the maggots found him and the last person to have seen him alive was two years prior and that was his friend who lived two states away and rarely checked in on him. it was just a lucky drive by. no texts from frank for a while. he was worried. so he came inside, knocked of course, but he came inside and he checked and frank wasn't there. and he'd find him in his bed, staring at the moldy wall, cobwebs infiltrating his closet and his eyes would be dried out and his hair would be far beyond greasy and he would be sad. and his friend would call 911. but they can't do anything for someone who's been dead for two years and maybe frank would have liked it. his last days. maybe he would.

but all he can do is fantasize from his apartment, eyes on the tv screen. hair greasy, clothes sweaty. scars on wrists. slits and thighs. red eyes. frank isn't sure what gets him up. what gives him the energy to grab some nicer clothes, a leather jacket and skinny jeans. and he isn't sure why he takes a shower and brushes his teeth and shaves his ass, but he does. and he thinks about maybe he can feel something if he goes out to that club off of main and fifth and he grabs himself a drink and forces himself to confront that man with the black hair and piercing eyes, maybe he will feel something. so he does.

and it's everything he hates. he doesn't dare safeword. even if he wants to. but the man pulls him aside, forces him on his knees despite the fact that frank does not have the strength to put effort into it. his eyes are half closed, his lips in a solid o, drool down his chin. he looks up at him through fluttered eyelids, imagines himself anywhere else. and the man pulls him off and forces him into weak feet, "come to my place?"

"okay." frank says. and they're off. frank stays on his phone the entire drive. they get there. the man is less than impressed when frank undresses.

"what's up with the scars, you trying to act edgy or should you just not be here right now?" he asks.

"i probably shouldn't be here but if you don't fuck me right fucking now, i'll probably end up blowing my brains out," frank says, monotone as it gets when you're joking about suicide.

the man frowns, slightly concerned, but that just pisses frank off and he rips off the other's jeans, jerking him up, "daddy? sir? master?"

"gerard," he says.

"i didn't ask for your fucking name," frank snarls, more aggressive than necessary, but he's in a bad mindset and everything inside him tells him to just feel something. even if it hurts, "what's your title?"

"sir is fine," he says, "you don't have to be mean about it."

"fuck off, i can be as mean as i fucking want to. you're the one in charge right now, so do what punishment you feel fits." frank says, tugging apart at the bedside drawers for lube or a condom or something, he manages to find it in the top drawer and he grins, looking back at the man.

"i don't know if this is the right time for this. are you sure you're okay?" he asks, worry in his voice.

"i'm fucking fine!" frank looks down, noticing the man is going limp, "you're fucking kidding me right now. are you fucking serious?"

"i'm just worried—"

"don't be, you fucking asshole," frank barks, squeezing the lube bottle too hard, "i didn't come out of my house, go all the way to that stupid club, and come back to this lousy ass fucking place just to attend a pity party. i'm here to get fucked. whether it be hard or soft. kinky or not. this is your night, you own me and if you're gonna be a fucking pussy about it i'll just leave!"