The Art of Confusion

Reeling

My heart feels like a stone

I'm so afraid of what I've done

I can barely breathe, I can hardly believe

That I am deserving of love.

So I rush to the kitchen

With my teeth tight and gritted

Find the bottle on the bottom shelf

I pour myself a glass

My soul full of wrath

And I drink down the liquid fire

It feels like I'm numbing

But that's what I wanted

And the flame licks through my chest

My brain starts to buzz

And I'm not who I was

Less than ten minutes ago

Everything seems hilarious

As I laugh in the blood rush

I dance and I drawl like a fool

I shout and I scream

Feel like Wolverine

And I throw things because I feel cruel

 I hear and I see things

Perhaps they're just dream things

Or I know better than I did before.

I've opened a portal

Into what's immortal

And I've let the wolf in at my door

Then I trip and I fall

And I slide down the wall

The tears streaming over my face

I cry and I cry

And I'm begging God why

Did I lose something I can't replace?