One Shots

rehersal

No prompt, just a really late chapter because I suck ass.
Um?!? 700 reads?!? Thank you so much:)
Another joshler fanfic since it's been a while, enjoy!

I feel like I'm more in touch with my emotions than most guys. I am usually able to name what emotion I'm feeling, and I'm pretty capable of recognizing when I've gone too far, or if I've overstepped something. It's just how I am. I'm not saying I'm in total control of my emotions, because I don't think that anyone is, but I've got a pretty good handle on myself.
That's why I'm always so shocked when I can't seem to control myself around him.
But can anyone?
I mean, if you saw him, you'd understand what I mean.
He's got almond hair when the light hits it just right, and nearly raven when it doesn't. His lips are full and colored like roses, just like the blush that erupts from his tanned cheeks. His eyes, framed by dark lashes, are a deep honey color, like a sweet sea you would want to get dragged into and lost in.
I wonder if he ever looks at me the way I do him, or dreams of me in the same situations that I conjure us into.
I doubt it.
Even if he did, there's no way it would ever work out. I mean, he's got a girlfriend. And she's much prettier than me. Beautiful, long, blonde hair that shines in the light. These brilliant blue eyes, and pearly whites that outshine the sun when she smiles.
Me, I've got awkward edges, like how my nose sits on my face, large and kind of crooked. Or how small and beady my eyes are. My hair is always a mess, and I've dyed it so many times over the years that it is pretty much all dead atop my scalp.  *obviously this isn't how I view him*
But I've been noticing a few things lately that I've either ignored in the past, or been to idiotic to previously notice. Like the other day, when he blushed after I told him that I liked his pants. Or when I complimented how the white on his shirt contrasted well with his tanned skin, and he giggled. AND blushed.
But maybe I'm just reading it too far because I want it to be true.
Anyway, I'm brought out of my thoughts as he and his girlfriend walk through the door and into my dressing room without knocking, him plopping down next to me and his girlfriend sitting on the other side of him. Our thighs are pressed together, and though it's nothing more than a simple touch, I can't help but breathe in abruptly, not even on purpose. I hope it will go unnoticed, but I see him examine my face, blush, and then turn to his girlfriend.
Am I insane or is there something happening?
He brings me back out of my thoughts with a tap on my shoulder to get my attention.
"So, what do you say? Wanna go rehearse for the show tonight?"
I'm not surprised at his request, he always likes to be prepared for these things, and I don't blame him for it. We're gonna be performing in front of thousands of people tonight, wouldn't want to mess that up. *knocks on wood*
We make our way to the stage, and the blonde leaves, leaving just me, him, and a few hours to mess around with our songs.
Once we get there, I assume my place at the drums, then turn to the olive-skinned boy and ask him what song he wants to practice first.
"Trees?", he replies, saying it like a question rather than a statement. I know we don't need to practice it, we've been doing this song for years now. I also know that he only wants to practice it is because we both love to perform it a lot, even if it is just for an empty arena.
We lock eyes before beginning the song simultaneously, without even a motion from one to the other to signal the beginning. We're way beyond such things, in my opinion. We know everything about each other.
Well, almost everything.
He doesn't know that I get the way I do around him. At least, I don't think he does.
The song ends and we've played it perfectly. Tyler's voice is as beautiful as always, and I guess I lost myself in thought because he's tapping me on my shoulder again, bringing me out of my mind.
"You ok, there?", he questions jokingly, knowing perfectly well that I'm fine.
"Yup" I reply with a smile, probably more to comfort myself than to comfort him.
But he seems nervous, which is weird because we've still got hours before the show begins, and his nerves kick in like an hour beforehand. I try to comfort him, so I place my hand on his shoulder, then sit down with him on the ledge of the stage.
"You know, I'll always be there for you. If you get nervous during the show, or if you feel yourself drifting away, all you have to do is look over at me and then hopefully you'll know that I've got your back. No matter what."
I was going to continue on, but he stops me by raising his hand.
"I'm not scared about the show. Well, I am, but that's not what's bothering me."
I'm scared for him now, because what else could he be talking about?
"What is it then?"
He clears his throat a few times to stall, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. What could possibly make him this anxious?
"You."
Now I'm the nervous one.
"Did I do something wrong? Because if I did I'm so sorry and I didn't mean it-"
He chuckles at this, though.
"You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing. Ever. I, um. Here's the thing  I like you, a lot. In the sort of way I like my girlfriend. But... more? It's all so confusing. I've never liked a guy like this before. And it's wrong, it's all so wrong. The timing is so bad. I mean, I'm happy with her, but I don't feel fully... satisfied? fulfilled? I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you, but I can't keep it in any longer, and I can't think of an easy way to break it to you, so I decided to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with"
He doesn't look at me the entire time he speaks, deciding to rather watch his feet dangling off the edge of the platform.
Finally, though, he slowly looks up at me, and his eyes are so full of sorrow, and confusion, and hope, and I don't even know what else. This is all I've ever wanted him to say to me, that he likes me, but now that he's saying actually telling it to me, it feels wrong. We both have girlfriends.
This isn't right.
But there's something in his eyes. I don't know what it is, but before I can stop myself, I lean down and kiss him.
I honestly don't know which one of us is more shocked.
I can feel my cheeks flush a deep color, and I see his doing the same. Even though it was only a quick peck on the lips, I'm definitely feeling more than I do when my girlfriend and I...you know.
I don't know if the blush upon his cheeks is a sign that he likes me too, or if it's just from pure shock. Despite what he said moments ago, I still have my doubts. It's probably just my anxiety, though.
Either way, I don't think I regret my rashness given that I've wanted to do that for years now.
I really hope that isn't the last time that happens because even though we both have girlfriends, I know (as messed up as it sounds) that I would leave mine in a heartbeat if it meant being with him.
If he wants it to be, I'm willing to sort through this mess with him. I'll help him, and I know he'd help me.
For the first time in a while, I can't wait for the future.

A/N:
I think that's all for this one. Idk if it was a little confusing, and if it was I'm sorry. I tried to not say anybody's name as a sort of experiment? Idk how well it worked, though.
Thanks again for 700 reads.
Bye!