UNEXPECTED ✰ COLIFER

Chapter 39 ✰ Flashbacks

A/N: As the chapter's name already explains: there are some memories/flashbacks in this chapter. I've written them in Italic and aligned them to the right side, so you can distinguish them a bit easier from the 'present' while reading. Enjoy! 

Jen's pov

You fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. You were an unexpected surprise in my life. The defining moment. The collision of stars that slammed into me hard and sent my neat little world plumping into the ocean. I never expected it to be you. But it was you. It's still you and it will always be you. And when I started loving you, I realized I have never truly loved anyone. I also realized that I will never truly love anyone the way I love you.

Knowing that you're gone isn't as painful as wondering if you'll ever come back. The desire to cry, or an overwhelming feeling of sadness for no apparent reason, is linked to emotional stress caused by missing someone. It's so quiet in here like you never used to be by my side, like you were just another figment of my imagination, and only I know for sure you were real.

The last couple of weeks without you taught me one important thing. The best gifts in the world are not in the material objects one can buy from the store, but in the memories we make with the people we love. The memories I made with you.

'Daddy?' Ivy said as she was playing with her dolls. 

Colin smiled while he lowered himself to the floor next to her. 'Yes, little girl.' 

'I'm a princess, right?'

'Yes.' 

Ivy paused and smiled. 'So that means that I can make all the rules, right?' 

Colin chuckled. 'No. You and I both know that daddy makes the rules.' He said while he looked at me and winked. I smiled back to him but Ivy got offended by his last comment. 

'But I am the princess!' 

He quirked his eyebrow as he embraced her. 'But I am the king.'

I smiled as I relived this precious memory between a father and his daughter. He was so ecstatic when we found out that our firstborn was going to be a girl. I already knew that Colin was a vulnerable man, but you might never know a man's real vulnerability until you see him with his daughter. With her, he seems capable of more human emotions than he'll ever share with someone else. The bond between the two of them had always been so mysteriously awesome and I'm pretty sure it was made in heaven.

Colin walked into the living room after a long day at work. He kissed my cheek softly and smiled when he noticed that Ivy was fast asleep on the couch. He picked her up bridal style but the look on his face showed that he knew she wasn't really sleeping. She was pretending to be asleep.

'Oh, Jen. Look at this! Our little princess is fast asleep.' he said loudly as he winked to me. 

'I'll carry our sleeping baby girl, who is totally asleep, to her bedroom.' he continued with a smirk on his face. I shook my head with a smile as I tried to withhold myself from bursting out laughing. 

We both noticed that Ivy started to crack up too because of Colin's dramatic teasing. He walked her to her bedroom and threw her on the bed. He crawled up next to her and took her in his arms. Ivy gave up her little act and cuddled up into his arms.

'Liar' he whispered as he pressed his lips against her hair. 

The love between a father and a daughter knows no distance. When he comes home after work, she'll run to the door and give him a big hug like she hadn't seen him for ages. Everything that had happened that day seemed to melt away from his face immediately. He always held her hand when she wanted him to. He swept her hair back from her ears. He swung her above his head. He didn't even bother to carry her 'My Little Pony' and 'Barbie' backpacks. She'll always be her daddy's little girl and he'll always be her hero. But he also knew when he needed to be her father, instead of her dad.

'Daddy, you're a butthead!' Ivy said with a teasing smile on her face.

Colin looked at me with a confused look on his face. 'Kindergarten...' I tried to explain. I noticed that he had to withhold himself from laughing, but he had a serious look as he turned back to her. 

'Call me butthead again and you'll be in some real trouble, young lady.'

Ivy snickered and opened her mouth. 'Bu...' 

Colin looked at her sternly. 'Don't!' 

She smiled as she looked at her feet. Colin turned back to me and pressed a kiss against my cheek.'

Butthead!' 

The laugh of a daughter is the favorite symphony of a father. She is his little bundle of joy and happiness. One of the greatest lessons that we can learn from children is the enviable ability to find happiness in simplicity. When you become a parent you'll start to appreciate the little things they do for you. 

'Hey daddy, look!' Ivy yelled as she walked towards Colin who was just reading a book on the couch. 

He closed his book and smiled kindly. 'What's up, sweetheart?'

She snickered and climbed into his lap. 'I found something that belongs to you!'

He quirked his eyebrow. 'Oh, what is it?'

A huge smile appeared on her face. 'It's me!!!' she exclaimed as she wrapped her little arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

In every action and in every step of mine, lie memories of you so precious and fine. In every little thing that I think or do, the memories bite me hard and remind me of you. With our wedding ring, I also gave you my heart. I promised from that day forward that you would never walk alone. My heart would be your shelter and my arms would be your home. But it feels like I've failed big time. You have no idea how much I miss you. How much we miss you. And now I have to force myself to stop reliving all these memories. Because every time I remember all this, I have to cry a little harder. Something that used to make me so happy feels so sad now. Maybe that's the way it is with the best memories. Because sometimes, happy memories hurt the most.