UNEXPECTED ✰ COLIFER

Chapter 33 ✰ Forever

Jen's pov

Although I really wanted to ride the horses, I was a little nervous about this trip. I intertwined my fingers with Colin's before we left the hotel and walked to the ranch side. A smile appeared on his face as he gently stroked the top of my hand with his thumb. Every time I looked at him, I wondered why I deserved it to be this lucky. He not only looks incredibly handsome, but he is also the best father for our children. Every day I fell a bit more in love with this man and that felt impossible given the fact that we have been together for years.

'What are you thinking about?' He looked doubtfully at my face.

'I'm thinking about us... about you'

He stopped and pulled me towards him. 'Are you still in love?' he asked out of nowhere as if he could read my thoughts.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pecked his lips. 'Of course, idiot!'

He stared in the distance while he wrapped his arms around me. 'Sometimes I wish I had kissed you earlier' he confessed

'Why?'

'It's hard to see the person you love... love someone else'

My eyes widened. 'When did you start loving me?'

A shy smile appeared on his lips. 'Since the moment I first laid eyes on you'

'You're a hopeless romantic, you know that right?' I said as I caressed his cheek with my thumb.

'Let's go ride those horses, love'

With some things he did, he was very much like his role on Once Upon a Time. It always made me laugh because sometimes he did not realize how much he actually acted like Killian Jones. 'Aye, Captain. Let's do that!' He slapped my ass playfully while laughing before he wrapped his arm around me and together we walked to the horses.

Once we arrived at the horses we were told what the purpose of this trip was. We would ride to Tor Head to enjoy the beautiful surroundings. There, somewhere in the hilly landscape, a tent would be waiting for us where we could spend the night. The whole trip was led by a cowboy. I always saw a cowboy as a man of around 50 years with a huge mustache and the cowboy hat and boots cannot be missed. However, our trip was not accompanied by a 50-year-old man, but a beautiful man in his mid-30's. Colin noticed immediately that I was distracted by the presence of this man and rolled his eyes.

'Hi, I'm Colin.' His eyes shifted to me for a moment, but then he focused on the man again. 'Her husband' he added unnecessarily. The man smiled and introduced himself as John before shaking our hands. John had a beautiful olive-toned skin, dark brown hair and green eyes. His eyes couldn't beat the bright blue eyes of my own husband, but I had to admit that my heart skipped a beat when I looked into John's eyes. Colin snorted when he saw me looking his way again.

'What?'

'You're into him'

'It's a handsome man, I can't deny that.'

He rolled his eyes again and stepped toward the horse that had been chosen for him, but I grabbed his hand. 'Are you jealous?' I asked teasingly.

He raised his shoulders. 'Should I be?' Even before I had the chance to answer his question, he mounted his horse. Even though he didn't say anything bad, I still felt a feeling of guilt creeping inside me. Colin always told me that he is a jealous man. He was always afraid that someone else could make me happier than he could. I guess it's his insecurities acting up. He is stubborn as hell and says sorry way too much. He tries to pretend like he doesn't give a fuck, but the fact is that he is caring too much. Colin is that kind of person that overanalyzes the smallest of things. If he was to rob a house, he'd probably make a checklist to be sure he didn't forget something. It's his way to guard himself against being hurt again.

Not much later we were all on our horses and we started our trip. John rode in front, Colin behind him and I was right behind Colin. I studied the contours of his body that moved along with the movements of the horse. Many years had passed since our first meeting, but at first sight, he did not seem to have aged at all. Only when you study his face, you would see that small wrinkles have formed in his perfect face. Only when you go through his hair with your hands, you would feel that his full hair is slowly getting thinner. And while you caress through his hair with your fingers, you will see some gray hair appear.

Colin and I once vowed to love each other forever (A/N: Unscripted chapter 53). If you want something to last forever you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it and never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements and you don't make it common or ordinary. If it becomes tarnished you polish it until it gleams like new again. It becomes more and more special because you have made it so. It grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. As we grow older together, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change... I will always, always love him.

I spurred my horse so that he would walk next to Colin's. He looked up when he saw me and smiled at me, even though I saw that he was still annoyed.

'Hey, you' I tried to break the ice

He smiled again. Sincerely this time. 'Hey, you'

'Are you still mad?' I asked as I stared at my horse underneath me and fiddled with his mane.

Colin turned his gaze back to the horizon right in front of us. 'No, I'm not mad at you. I have never been'

'Jealous then?'

'Jen, listen, I know you're into younger men and he could be the type you'd be dating. I also realize that I'm getting older and that...'

'That what?' I interrupted his silence.

'That I may not be the man I used to be for you'

I quirked my eyebrow questioningly. 'Seriously? You think you're not good enough anymore?'

He only nodded.

'I know this has everything to do with your insecurities, Col' I said a little bit too loud. John looked at us over his shoulder. 'Everything okay?'

We both nodded. 'Maybe we shouldn't have this conversation right now' Colin hissed.

'No, you have to listen to me now'

He looked astonished for a moment, but eventually let me tell him what I wanted him to know.

'I don't get why you think you're not good enough. I know sometimes it's still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfections, but please know: whether it's the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap with your body broken into a thousand questions, you are still the most beautiful person I have ever seen. You know that I love you. Even if you are a still day or when you are a hurricane. It won't change anything, so please... don't be jealous'

A grunt escaped his mouth.

'What?'

'You have no idea how badly I want to pull you off that horse and pin you up against a wall while I kiss you passionately.'

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