Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The nightmare was almost always the same.
I was standing in front of Dean in the small room of the motel he died in. Sam and Ruby weren't there, it was just me and him. There was salt around the room, and Hell Hounds growling all around us, but it didn't matter.
I would look at him, and the fear I felt would fade away. He always made me feel secure, no matter how bad the situation was. Dean would grab my hands, give them a squeeze, and look into my eyes with his green ones.
"Dean," I would gasp out, "I need to tell you something. I love you. I've loved you for years, and if this is the end-"
Before I could finish, and before I could hear what he was going to say to me, the dogs broke through. Everything began to morph, and I felt sick. I could hear his screaming, smell his blood, and he was gone. Leaving me full of guilt, and unresolved feelings.
This time was different. Not the normal different words or different sounds. No, there was another section to the dream. It was a coffin, where we buried Dean. A hand burst out, and his head. He was alive, and he looked right at me as I watched.
"Holy shit!" I jerked up, letting out a slow breath. My body felt sticky with sweat, "God...What the hell have I been eating before I go to bed?"
I picked up my phone off of the bedside table, groaning at the early time. Knowing I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep I rolled out of bed and padded over to the kitchen so I could get a glass of water.
Ever since Dean had been taken to hell, I had been having those same dreams. It was almost exactly what happened. I was filled with regret about it. I should have told him sooner, then I could have heard what he said. Or at the very least I could have taken his rejection, knowing it was over.
"Maybe I should call Sam, and call in sick," I wandered back over to my phone, "The hospital is always weird about calling in late anyways."
When Dean died, I got out of the hunting game as fast as I could. Seeing him die, and how much the brothers had suffered...I couldn't do it without Dean.
"Hey Sam," I sighed sadly when his phone went to voicemail, "Listen, I'm sorry for bothering you. I know you were getting close on that Wendigo case. But um, well I had the nightmare again. But it was different this time. He came out of the ground Sam, and it felt so real. Just um, call me when you get the chance. Love you bye."
