UnPretty Thoughts: The Leader [ Namjoon x Reader ]

Small Pressures

Steam whisped and rolled up from the water she was half submerged in like the many currently spiraling thoughts in her head. She sank lower into the water. She didn't often do baths, but tonight was an exception. She needed to relax. She needed privacy to think. 'Sunshine' needed to be cleansed.

Cleansed of all the very impure and improper thoughts now tangled in her head. Thoughts making her flushed and dizzy and very very conflicted. She had seen Namjoon almost naked. There had been a towel around his waist, but... like... what if there hadn't been?

With a groan, she folded over a bit and hid her burning face in her hands. Namjoon without clothes! Dripping wet from his bath... Staring at her with wide, dark, depthless eyes that had only seemed to get dark and more intense when he had seen her half undressed.

It had been a moment of shock and awe. A shock that led to mortification because he had seen her, but awe because... Well, Namjoon just out of a bath was... Was... O o f. 

She could still see him in her mind's eye. A dancer's body, strong and yet masculinely supple while water laced trails over hard planes that begged to be touch. Her hormones were in overdrive just thinking about how it might feel to be wrapped up in his arms. How he might tense and shudder in delight at gentle fingertips brushing over his chest and stomach...

BAD! Bad thoughts! Bad, naughty, naughty thoughts! No! She was not allowed to think such impure and indecent things! He was her friend. He was pretty much her employer. And he was very much off limits due to his group's ever-growing fanbase. Not to mention...Wouldn't he feel betrayed?

Betrayed that she had already known who he was before they had even greeted each other for the first time. That she had known his name and age and his talents before he had told her. And that even after they had started speaking she still hadn't told him the complete truth. Oh sure, she had stated she was ARMY but only after he started teasing her, saying she should support him and his group.

It made her stomach tighten uncomfortably. She had just wanted to make him feel...normal. Like he was any other guy. To give him that ease and comfort of friendly conversation and getting to know one another that he probably never really got any more. Was that so wrong?

But that had nothing to do with this new issue. 

Even with her deception, she had only ever wanted to be friends. She hadn't ever wanted anything more. Just being someone he could talk to or confide in or offer a comforting word during a hard time... 

She sank down into the water. Now her heart pounded when he got close. It slammed in her chest and made her dizzy for breath when he locked his eyes with her own. It had to just be a fluke right? Right. It was just her nerves from changing her environment so quickly. And he was just a little pent up. 

A conversation on laying down extra subtle rules should help... And then this uncomfortable antsy, needy feeling would go away. The slowly crushing pressure from planning to get rid of it would be gone too. Then he could live his wondrous life and she could be... The person who made it just a bit easier.

Getting up out of the bath, she wrapped a towel around her and didn't even notice her own sigh. Her plan was made. Everything would go back to normal soon. She could forgive him for the sudden misguided kiss. 

Even if, at the moment, she really didn't want to. Sleep would help ease this. Sleep and then she'd crush down the pressure in her chest and set everything right.