nineteen♣️

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I fell so sick lying in my bed. How could my dad just lock me into my room so that I can't meet my mother. She is my mother.
This is so strange to me. After all these years of pain, loneliness  and darkness she wanted to meet me. But my father doesn't allow it.

Why? He never talked with me about her and
I always wondered what happened to her. This is my only chance to get to know her. To maybe understand why she left.

But this is my life. Beautiful as always.*not*
What should I do to come out I cannot just jump of the window that is to dangerous.
Why do I even care so much for someone who doesn't give a fuck about me.

After my mom left I hated people and I hated myself even more for being useless. And now she wants to explain it to me? What is more important then a daughter I mean this is your child and you share the same blood.

I also don't understand my dad. He wants me to train, work and be perfect but now he cares? I don't believe that. Maybe there is something my mother knows that I should not know.
Who knows...

Being locked up in my room is nothing new to me. If my dad wants me to choreograph a dance or write a song that's what he does so that I don't do other things and I that I give all my attention to what I'm doing.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 18, 2019 ⏰

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