silent tears

3

Stella

~~~~~~~~~

"So tell me Stella," dad began after taking a sip of his drink from the glass. "Aren't you planning on getting married?"

I drop my cutlery on the plate. What? He wants me to settle?. No, I'm okay the way I am. "I shake my head. No, dad" I told him hearing my mother shocked.

"Well you better look for someone" mother said wiping her mouth. "Unless you're still in love with the father of your child"

"Mother..."

"What?. You know I'm saying the truth!" She half yelled getting up from her seat.

Is it always going to be like this?

"Uhm...I'll take Nev inside" aunt Gina butted in lifting  my son up and taking him upstairs, I smiled appreciatively at her. He's not supposed to hear this. I couldn't believe my son was here and she was talking like that.

"Sarah, now is not the time" father said.

"Oh yes it is!. It hurts me okay." Her voice broke as she spoke. I could see her eyes get glassy. I could also feel my eyes tear up. So it still hurt her?.

"You think I'm happy seeing her like this? Without anyone to support her?. Sometimes she makes me feel as if I'm the only one bothered about her. I feel her pain!"

"-of course you wouldn't understand because you are a man. You will never understand a mother when her child is hurting!" At this point, she was a sobbing mess. She glared at me and stormed off.

I wept silently, this pain has haunted me for so many years. I know that very soon when Nev gets exposed he'll soon ask about his dad...then what will I say? What will I tell him? Because I myself do not even know who he is!. Who on earth could have done this to me?!.

"Stella," dad placed his hand on my back. "It will get better, alright?" He kissed my forehead and left to his room. I wiped my eyes clearing the table and washing the dishes.

It was difficult for me to sleep that night. My mind kept wondering about, trying to figure out the circumstances that led to my pregnancy. I moved from the window and faced my mirror. I couldn't remember a thing.

"Stella," a voice called from behind me. I turned around surprised to see my mother in my room. She walked up to me and cupped my cheek.

It's been a while since she did that to me  and I felt so relieved.  My mother could give very comforting touches that made you forget any pain. "I just want the best for you." She whispered softly.

I nodded pushing the tears back.

"My Darling, you still don't know who it is?" She asked softly pushing my hair away from my face.

"Mom, I don't know" I choke.

"There was a time you went against my orders and sneaked out of the house to a party. Could it be that you were drugged?. Because a few days after you confessed what you did then your pregnancy was confirmed,"

"I don't know.." I shook my head. I was with my best friend, Connor, he would never had allowed for that. He cared about me and protected like  I was his sister. No, he couldn't have done that to me. He was the one who even brought me home, said I had slept off but it doesn't really mean anything.... Does it?. No. Never.

She sighed removing her hands. "You're still young and beautiful Stella, you can't remain like this all your life.." She persuaded.

I shook my head. "I don't think I can trust anyone mom.."