Honey

50 questions?

"Well gentlemen, who wants to play 20 questions?"

Their eyes lit up as soon as I said it. 

Of course we went through the basic questions you'd normally ask when getting to know someone. I didn't know what else to do, the feelings that I'm having for John warranted this. 

I ask both Nick and John questions, Nick didn't seem to want to leave. It didn't bother me but I couldn't help but think that maybe John had an issue with it. I mean yes they're brothers but it's not like they'd want to share me. 

We started getting pretty cosy at one of the back tables, it's quite dark and moody back here so I'm certain not many people could see us. 

Once we had hit 20 questions I had wrongly assumed that- that would be enough. Clearly not. Nick instigated the more personal questions and we've going ever since. Apparently this- is now 50 questions?

"Question 30," John states, taking a sip of his beer before continuing, "Why are you single?" 

I tensed at the question, it was bound to come up. If I wanna move on, I've got to talk about it. I trust these two, maybe more than I should but it's better than nothing. 

"Well," I sigh and clasp my hands together "My ex, Hunter. Well, uh... He was physical. Not with Alexandra, just me. It all started all of a sudden and a year later I was still putting up with it, I'd had enough so one night after he'd finished I packed up myself and Lex and ended up here with my parents." 

I felt a little weight lifted off my shoulders. Albeit, I haven't forgotten the nights I used to lay in that cold bathroom or that hell called a bedroom nursing a blood nose, busted lip or a bruised up face. 

Both their jaws tense, bodies wound tight, and hands found both of mine, rubbing circles over my hands in comfort. 

Nick was the first to speak up, "Cara, You should have never had to go through that. Ever." he locked eyes with me pulling  me close, " I know it may not mean much, but you're safe here, with us." he spoke genuinely.

Before I could speak, John had pulled me from Nick and held me tightly, " We will never let that happen to you or Alexandra again. You have our word." The anger in John's voice was noticeable. Is it weird to have two men who care more about me and my child in a week rather than a fiancé of 5 years?

I'm finding it really hard to keep the tears at bay. I can feel my eyes welling up, maybe it's the alcohol, I don't know. But the both catch on and continue comforting me.

We carried on after that, obviously steering clear of the topic. Not necessarily in the right setting to be bringing up domestic violence now is it? 

John gathered another round for us all, John had switched to water, not surprising considering he's my ride home. 

"Question 40 to both of you! You don't have to answer if you don't want to... How are you two single?!" I mean really, how?

They both look at each other and chuckle. Speaking with their eyes, John leans in and whispers in my ear.

"We haven't found the one." My heart started pounding, surely he doesn't think I'm the one? A single mother with baggage?

I couldn't form a coherent sentence so I shrugged off his answer and took a sip of my beer. I could ask whether they've found her yet but I don't wanna make this awkward or get my feelings hurt.

They both chuckle at my response to it, They both move even closer than they were before. Nick's hand wandering up my arm whilst John's hand is playing with the ends of my hair. 

Nick and John continue their not so 'innocent' assault on me and continue on with their questions. 

We'd literally hit question 50, vowed it be the last one. Just so happen to be my turn. 

What's a question you generally ask someone when you start dating? Easy.

"Do either of you want kids?" I hold my breath, I mean if it's no, I'm out. My daughter comes first. 

A synchronised answer falls from both at the same time. "Yes."

I took and breath and relieved myself of the anxiety that had coiled itself in my stomach. 

"I want as many as I can get." Nick spoke, "We are both in our 30's, were ready for the next chapter in our lives." John nodded, gauging my reaction. 

I smile nodding my head, understanding what they meant. I mean I'm 25 and I'm ready to actually have what I thought I had with Hunter.

"Kids are amazing." I said dreamily. Thinking of Lex when she was a little baby, god she was so cute and squishy.

They both hummed in response. "I do believe Alexandra wanted to see Buddy again?" John chuckled. 

"Oh god, yes I've been meaning to ask you!" I smile, I watch him watch me, he's so handsome, well they both are.

"Well are you busy tomorrow? We could maybe do lunch and a playdate?" he clears his throat when he notices I'm just staring. Oh god.

I clear my throat and smile, "Yeah sure, sounds good."

"Hey what about me?" Nick whines, he pouts at me and I fight the urge to squeeze his cheeks.

"You live there too idiot." John grumbles. John is definitely the older, grumpier one of the two of them.

Nick smiles and throws back he rest of his beer. John and Nick both stand up, John offering me his arm. I take it and get led back over to the group table. Claire has since left but came and said goodbye earlier.

There's only a few guys left most look absolutely shattered, Ben smiles as he sees us approaching. John's arm pulls me close and Nick walks up next to me.

"How about that drink Cara?" Ben slurs. I totally forgot about that.

I chose my words carefully, Nick's close and so is John. John seems to be the more impulsive one out of the two. 

"Raincheck? I'm super tired, I'm thinking of heading off."  I watch Ben's face drop but he quickly picks himself up again.

"No worries! See you Monday Cara!" he chirps. Good, crisis everted. 

"You wanna head home?" John asks, rubbing my back. I unintentionally lean into his touch and nod. Nick nods to John and we all head out. 

"See you tomorrow Cara." Nick whispers before kissing my hand and heading off to his car.

"Should he be driving?" I ask John wearily. I'm pretty sure he had a bit to drink.

"He'll be okay, I normally follow him back in my car anyway." I nod in understanding. We walk to John's truck and he helps me in. We head off in the direction of home. 

John pulls up in his driveway, helps me out and walks me to my front door, we walk in comfortable silence. I'd say all three of us are processing all the answers to the questions from tonight. 

"I think I speak on behalf of my brother too when I say this, We really enjoyed our evening with you Cara. Hopefully they will be more nights like tonight." His eyes glaze over and my skin prickles at his warm breath fanning my cheek. 

He left a chaste kiss to my forehead and held my front door open for me. Before I could even say anything back, he trotted down the steps and stopped only to look back and wink at me before heading inside his house. 

I stood there, forehead burning, cheeks flushed and butterflies dancing in my stomach. 

I pulled myself through the front door, only to see my Mum and Lex curled up together on the lounge. I tip toe over to them, pulling the blanket over them both before giving them a kiss goodnight. 

I changed and crawled into bed, My mind reeling from tonight and what just happened. It's not even a big deal. The only thought that plagues my mind before I sleep is that, 

Can I feel attracted emotionally and physically to two men?